Change
by Rachelmasonfan25
Summary: Follows Rachel's life outside of Waterloo Road.
1. Chapter 1

After any holiday Rachel always did look forward to returning to work to catch up with all the kids from school, but this year she was looking forward to it more than ever.

This Christmas had been far from nice, and although Rachel was more used to having unpleasant Christmas's since the birth of her six year old daughter, Lily, Rachel had begun to love Christmas again like she did when she was a little girl.

However, this year things had been extremely unsettled with her husband's fifteen year old daughter Sadie having to move in with them following the disappearance of her mother yet again.

Rachel and Steve had only been married about 6 months and in that time Rachel had only met Sadie once or twice since Sadie lived in Newcastle with her Mum and Steve's contact with Sadie was very little.

Despite the amount of times Rachel would try to encourage Steve to see Sadie, the girl still saw Rachel as the woman who tried to steal her Daddy when he moved to Manchester two years ago.

So for Rachel the Christmas holidays had meant either being ignored or shouted at by Sadie and although Rachel had tried to remain calm in the last few days she hadn't been able to help but argue back.

On top of all of this Rachel had found out that her Mum had died a few days ago, and although she hadn't spoken to her Mum since she was 17 Rachel was still upset by this as when she was a little girl she absolutely adored her Mum.

Sadie's Mum had disappeared three weeks ago now and usually she returned at most two weeks later. This time something felt different and no-one showed much hope for her returning anytime soon.

Sadie couldn't afford to miss any school when she was in the middle of her GCSEs so Rachel and Steve had enrolled her at a school in Manchester, much to her dislike.

Rachel had just finished ironing Lily and Sadie's school uniform so she took it through to their bedrooms.

"If you think I'm going to that stupid school tomorrow then you can think again" Sadie said as Rachel put the uniform on her desk chair

"You going to school isn't up for debate"

"Why do you think I want to start a new school where I don't know anyone, I'm not going to know how anything works and I already go to school at home"

"School isn't an optional thing and we don't know how long you're going to be here for, so until you're able to go to your school in Newcastle you're going to have to attend school in Manchester"

"Whatever"

Rachel didn't have the energy in her to get into another argument so walked away and went into her daughter's bedroom where she was greeted with a cuddle.

"That's a nice cuddle darling"

Rachel laid out Lily's school uniform so that it was all ready for the morning.

"Shall we get you in the bath before tea, and then we don't have to worry about it afterwards"

Rachel went and ran the bath for Lily before calling her daughter into the bathroom.

Lily got undressed before climbing in and started playing.

"Mummy"

"Yes love"

"How come you and Sadie always argue and Sadie is never happy?"

"I think Sadie's missing her Mum a bit and it's hard for her having to come and live with us when she doesn't know us very well"

Rachel knew it wasn't a very nice atmosphere in the house at the minute which wasn't fair on Lily so she really did need to do something about this.

"Is that why she's always crying?"

Rachel hadn't seen Sadie cry once since she'd been here so was a bit confused by what Lily meant by this.

"What do you mean always crying?"

"I always hear her crying in her bedroom, and sometimes when I wake up for a wee in the night she's crying in the bathroom"

Hearing this made Rachel soften a bit towards Sadie. She clearly wasn't letting on just how much she was hurting about her Mum leaving.

"Well next time you hear her crying I want you come and tell me so that I can see what's the matter and try and make her feel better, okay?"

"Okay Mummy"

"Anyway let's get your hair washed"

Rachel gently washed her daughter's hair and once this was done got her out and wrapped a big, fluffy towel around her.

Once she was dry Lily got changed into her pyjamas and then Rachel dried her hair for her.

Rachel was looking forward to jumping in the bath herself tonight, but first she needed to cook and also try and sort things with Sadie.

"I'm going to start cooking now, so what do you want to do?"

"Watch a film"

"Come on then, let's go downstairs"

Rachel put Matilda on for Lily before going through to the kitchen to start cooking.

Steve came out of the lounge with Rachel sensing she seemed a bit stressed.

"Are you okay Rach?"

"Yeah"

"I can tell something's up"

"I just want to put things right with Sadie"

"I know you do, I think it's just going to take a bit of time. Her Mum had put her through a lot so it's going to take a lot to make her trust you"

"Lily told me she hears her crying a lot"

"Did she?"

"Yeah, I hate to think of her crying on her own I wish she would just come to one of us"

"Sadie isn't like that Rach, she's not a girl who likes to talk about how she's feeling or show any sort of weakness in front of people"

"But that's not right, she's only 15 she shouldn't have to bottle things up like that"

"But she does"

"Well does that now worry you?"

"Of course it does, but I've tried so many times to get through to her but I just can't Rach"

Rachel had helped a lot of kids in her time of being at Waterloo Road, and Rachel was determined to help Sadie too.

Lily had asked for pasta for tea tonight so Rachel started to make the sauce.

Once it was ready Rachel called everyone down.

Lily and Steve both came and sat at the kitchen table but there was no sign of Sadie.

"Sadie, your tea's on the table"

"I'll go up and see what she was doing" Rachel said when she still hadn't come down

"Just leave her Rach" Steve said knowing this was likely to lead to another argument

"She needs to eat Steve" Rachel said. She'd picked up on how little Sadie had been eating and how much she tried to skip meals.

Despite Steve telling her not to Rachel still went up to Sadie's bedroom and found her watching a film in bed.

"Did you not hear me shouting? Your tea's on the table"

"I'm not hungry"

"Well at least try to eat something, you'll be hungry later otherwise"

"And then I'll eat"

"Sadie, please, just come and sit at the table" Rachel said quite forcefully

Sadie glared at Rachel before getting out of bed and going downstairs.

The meal was far from a happy family dinner and Sadie only managed a couple of mouthfuls.

"Rachel's gone to the effort of cooking that, eat some more Sadie" Steve said

"I'm not hungry, and I don't like creamy sauces anyway"

"Since when?"

"I just don't anymore"

There was nothing more Rachel or Steve could do to make her eat so in the end Rachel cleared all the plates away before bringing out the chocolate cake she'd made for dessert.

"Do you want any Sadie?"

"No thanks, I'm going back upstairs"

"Okay" Rachel said, again she didn't have the energy to battle with her

Once they'd finished eating and clearing up Rachel sat down with Lily and watched the rest of Matilda with her. It was Lily's favourite film at the minute and Rachel couldn't even count the number of times they'd watched it over Christmas.

"Right, it's time to get you into bed ready for school tomorrow"

"I wish it was still the holidays"

"You'll enjoy school once you're back love, go up to the bathroom and clean your teeth and go for a wee and I'll be up in a few minutes"

Rachel came up a few minutes later and Lily was waiting in bed to be tucked in.

Lily was a very good little girl and Rachel hardly ever had any problems with her really. Rachel's daughter just made her very happy.

Rachel read to Lily for a bit but she kept yawning so she didn't read for as long as she normally did.

"Night night my love, I'll see you in the morning"

"Night Mummy, love you lots"

"I love you too darling"

Rachel gave Lily a kiss goodnight before deciding to run a bath for herself.

It was a nice way to relax ready to begin a new term at Waterloo Road, as usual Rachel had big plans for the school.

Rachel was reading her book in the bath when there was a knock on the door.

"I'm just in the bath" Rachel called

No-one replied to her so Rachel guessed it was probably Sadie because if it was Lily or Steve they would've said something.

Rachel had quite a long soak and was just about to get out when there was another knock on the door.

"I'm still in the bath"

"Mummy it's me, please can I come in?"

"Okay love" Rachel said wondering what Lily wanted

Lily came in and closed the door behind her.

"Mummy you know you said to tell you when I heard Sadie crying again, well she is"

"Thanks for telling me darling, is she in her bedroom"

"Yes"

"Okay well you go back to bed and I'll go and speak to Sadie, I'm getting out now"

"Will Sadie be okay?"

"Hopefully she will be once I've had a little chat with her"

Once Lily had left Rachel got out and wrapped a towel around herself.

She went into her bedroom and got changed into her pyjamas and put a dressing gown on and then she went to Sadie's bedroom.

Rachel knocked on the door and there was no reply however she went in anyway.

When the door was open Rachel saw Sadie crying hysterically on her bed so instinctively Rachel ran straight over.

Rachel tried to wrap her arms around Sadie but she just shrugged her off.

"Sadie I just want to help you" Rachel said calmly

Sadie turned away from Rachel but continued to sob.

Rachel didn't say anything but she just sat on the edge of Sadie's bed.

Rachel being there had calmed Sadie down considerably however she was still letting out the occasional sob however hard she was trying not to.

"Do you know the reason I became a teacher Sadie?" Rachel asked but it was more of a rhetorical question because she knew she wouldn't get an answer out of Sadie "it was because I wanted to help children to be happy and help them get through the horrible things that so many teenagers have to go through. I know that some of the things that happen when you're growing up are so unfair and believe me when I say I know that from experience. I care so much about every single pupil that goes to my school and I also care a lot about you Sadie because however much you try to make out that you don't really care that your Mum left, I know that deep down you're hurting a lot but you just don't want to let anyone in to help you"

Rachel placed her hand on Sadie again, but only this time she didn't pull away. She let Rachel show that she was there for her.

"I know how difficult it must be having to come to a new city and live in a new house with your Dad's new wife, but it doesn't have to be as difficult as you're making it. It really doesn't"

Sadie turned around so she was facing Rachel.

"I'm sorry" Sadie said

"You don't need to apologise to me love, I can understand why you were behaving the way you were. I was just getting frustrated with myself that I couldn't get you to let me in so that I could help you"

"But I completely ruined Christmas for you and probably for Lily too"

"Lily still had a nice Christmas, I made sure of that"

"I'll make sure I'm nicer to everyone from now on"

"Thank you love, I think we all need a fresh start and maybe you'll actually start to enjoy living with your Dad and me until your Mum comes back"

"If she ever comes back" Sadie said her eyes filling up yet again

"Why don't you think she'll come back this time?"

"I don't know, she's never happy when she's with me anyway she's only ever happy when she's with some rich man"

"Well maybe you should think about living with your Dad then, you know he misses you so much he's always talking about you"

"Really?"

"Yes really"

"I thought he'd got a new life and just didn't want reminding of his own life"

"Of course not Sadie, yes he needed to get away from the life he shared with your Mum but having to leave you behind was the hardest thing he ever did"

Sadie broke down again but only this time Rachel was there to hold her and for once Sadie was letting someone see her vulnerable side, rather than the hard exterior she always put on.

In many ways Sadie reminded Rachel of herself when she was growing up. She always felt like she had to get through all of her problems on her own and never wanted to burden anyone else with it which was probably one of the reasons Rachel had turned into the caring woman she was.

Rachel was there whilst Sadie let out everything that she'd been bottling up and for Sadie that meant so much. Even though Sadie was upset over her Mum leaving, even when her Mum was there she was hardly there for Sadie as a Mum.

Rachel nipped out and got Sadie a tissue so she could wipe her eyes.

When she returned Rachel mopped up all of the tears that had fallen from Sadie's eyes and offered to run her a bath.

"Yes please, if you don't mind"

"It would be my pleasure"

Rachel ran the bath and then when it was done shouted Sadie through.

"Have your bath love and then do you fancy coming down and watching some TV or a film with me and your Dad?" Rachel asked

Normally Sadie spent most of her time in her room but Rachel was hoping that this was about to change.

"Yeah that would be nice. Can we maybe watch the Casualty that was on last night? I used to love watching it on a Saturday night but we stopped when Dad left"

"Do you know what I used to love Casualty too and I haven't watched it for ages either so that sounds like a lovely idea. Anyway I'll leave you to it"

Sadie felt unusually happy but it really was a nice feeling.

This happiness soon disappeared though when Sadie caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror after she'd taken her clothes off though.

But Sadie tried to push these thoughts out of her mind by jumping into the bath and thinking about the conversation she'd just had with Rachel and how nice she seemed.

Sadie had a really nice relax in the bath. Rachel had lit some candles for her and put loads of bubbles in. It felt so nice to be being looked after, something that she definitely wasn't used to.

After her bath Sadie got changed into her pyjamas before joining Rachel and her Dad in the lounge.

"How was your bath?"

"It was really nice thanks"

Steve was on one sofa and Rachel was on the other. Steve was laid out so Sadie decided to go and sit by Rachel.

"Right, let's put Casualty on then shall we?"

Rachel got it set up and then enjoyed a relaxing night in front of the TV with Sadie and her husband, the happiest the house had felt over the whole holidays.

"I think I'm going to go up to bed now" Sadie said

"Okay love, do you want me to wake you up in the morning?"

"Yes please if you don't mind, Rachel am I going to the same school that you work at?"

Before Sadie had been adamant that she wouldn't be going to school in Manchester at all so she had no idea what the school was called or anything.

"No I didn't think you'd like that, so I enrolled you at one that's fairly close but it will mean a short bus journey in the morning"

"Okay what time will I have to catch the bus?"

"8:15 at the end of the road"

"Can you wake me up at quarter to seven then please?"

"Of course I can, sweet dreams love"

"Night Rachel, night Dad"

"See you tomorrow Sadie" Steve said to his daughter

Once Sadie had gone up to bed Rachel went onto the other sofa and snuggled up with Steve for a bit.

"How much happier does she seem?" Rachel said smiling

"So much happier, did you put some spell on her or something?"

"No we just talked and I showed her I was there for her, it's amazing how one talk can change her so much"

"You're amazing Rach, you really are"

Steve and Rachel stayed up for a bit longer but Rachel didn't want to be too late to bed as she wanted to be up early in the morning ready for a new term.

When Rachel's alarm went off the next morning she got straight in the shower and got herself sorted and then went into wake Sadie up at 6:45 like she'd promised.

"Morning Sadie" Rachel said as Sadie groggily sat up in bed

"Morning"

"How are you feeling about today?"

"Nervous" Sadie admitted

"I thought you probably would be, but I'm sure you'll settle in just fine. I've seen lots of girls come into Waterloo Road who are your sort of age and they've soon slotted in"

"I hope so"

Sadie got out of bed and went for a shower so Rachel finished getting ready.

Soon it was time to get Lily up so Rachel went and woke her daughter.

Lily got up surprisingly easy, but it never was too much of a struggle at the beginning of term.

Once Lily was ready Rachel went down and got breakfast.

"Lily, Sadie breakfast" Rachel shouted, Steve had already left for work

Sadie came down in her new school uniform but she didn't want any breakfast.

"I don't normally eat in the morning" Sadie told Rachel

There wasn't really much Rachel could say to this when the most she would ever eat in the morning was an apple

"I suppose I'd better get going then"

"Okay love, have a good day at school. You've got your key haven't you?"

"Yep"

"Oh and let me give you some dinner money"

Rachel quickly went to her purse and pulled out a fiver.

"Thanks Rachel"

"No problem, have a good day"

Sadie left for school and once Lily had finished her breakfast Rachel told her to go and get her shoes on.

Rachel was just making sure she had everything when there was a knock at the door.

Rachel wondered who it would be knocking at this time in the morning, so she went and opened it.

When she did there was a woman stood there with a young girl who looked about 10.

"Rachel Mason?" the woman asked

"Yes that's me"

"My name's Sally Winter, I'm a social worker. Is it okay if we come in?"

"What's this about, it's just I really need to get to work"

"This is important Rachel. Your Mum said in her will that if anything were to happen to her she wanted you to take care of your sister"

"What do you mean take care of Mel?"

"I'm not talking about Mel, I'm talking about Emily" Sally said placing a hand on the girl's shoulder

Rachel was in complete shock, she never even knew that she had another sister.

 **I've decided to start a new story, please review and let me know what you think xxxx**


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel discovering that she had another younger sister had certainly been a shock.

At first she thought it must be impossible that Emily was her sister. If Emily was 11 then Rachel had thought that it must be impossible but when Rachel worked it out properly she realised it was possible, after all Rachel's Mum was only 18 when she had her.

From what Rachel could tell up until the day of her Mum's car crash Emily had had a very different childhood from Rachel's. It sounded as though Rachel's Mum had been there for Emily like any decent mother should be, and Emily had really struggled to come to terms with her Mum's death.

Although Rachel had been totally unaware of having another sister, according to Emily their Mum had talked to Emily about her and Mel all the time so Emily had always known she had two sisters.

Getting to know Emily had been something that Rachel had really enjoyed. She'd only been there for a few weeks but, despite the circumstances, Rachel loved having her around.

Emily had been back at school for a few days now, which just so happened to be the school that Sadie was going to.

"Five minutes and we need to leave love" Rachel shouted up the stairs to Lily

Lily came rushing down the stairs as soon as Rachel said this.

"Mummy you haven't done my hair yet"

"Oh yeah come here I'll put it in a pony tail quickly" Rachel said reaching for the brush in her handbag

"No I don't want it in a ponytail, I want half of it in a French plait with the rest down again"

"I haven't got time for that today love" Rachel said as she quickly put Lily's hair up for her

Sadie and Emily had already left to catch their bus.

At school Emily had a really good circle of friends who had all been really supportive after hearing about her Mum which had made going back to school a lot easier for Emily.

The morning quickly passed and it was soon the last lesson of the day. Emily was sat in English with three of her friends.

Emily had been perfectly fine in the morning but all of a sudden she felt herself come over feeling all teary.

Sometimes Emily did still get upset about her Mum for no reason. What had happened to her Mum would just suddenly come to her mind.

"I'm just going to the loo" Emily said to her friends before walking out of the classroom.

Emily had been given a pass which allowed her to leave whenever she needed to.

As much as Emily had tried to hold her tears back her friends had seen how upset she looked.

Emily's English teacher had seen her walk out so came over to Emily's friends.

"Was Emily okay?"

"I think she was upset Miss, can we go and check on her?"

"One of you can go"

"I'll go" Poppy said

Poppy went to the English toilets, guessing this was where Emily would've gone.

When she went in she found her stood in there.

"Are you okay?" Poppy asked

Emily nodded but then burst into tears so Poppy went over and gave her a hug.

"Let's go back to class" Emily said after a few minutes.

Emily was still feeling quite upset but wasn't in the mood for talking to Poppy about it

Emily was extremely quiet for the rest of the English lesson and was glad when it was time to go home.

Emily sat on the bus next to one of her friends and when she turned around she saw Sadie.

"Hi Emily, how was your day?"

"Not too bad" Emily said but Sadie could tell straight away she was feeling a bit down

Sadie was sat next to one of the girls from a group of girls she'd started hanging around with. She hadn't really got close with any of them yet but they'd been really nice to her ever since her first day.

The bus pulled up at their stop so Sadie and Emily got off the bus.

Rachel wasn't home with Lily yet.

Both girls went up to their rooms and changed out of their school uniform.

Now that Emily was alone again she couldn't help but break down into tears again.

Once Sadie was changed out of her school uniform she went back downstairs.

Just as she was walking down Rachel came in with Lily.

"Up to your room and get changed out of your uniform love, so I can get it straight in the wash"

Lily went rushing upstairs so Rachel turned her attention to Sadie

"How's your day been?"

"Good thanks, how about yours?"

"Not too bad, I'll tell you something though I am glad it's Friday"

"Me too" Sadie smiled "Rachel I think Emily's a bit upset, she's been dead quiet since school finished and she looked like she was going to burst into tears any second"

"Okay I'll go up and have a word, thanks for letting me know love"

Rachel put her bags down in the kitchen and took off her jacket before going upstairs.

She walked into Emily's room.

"Can I have your uniform Emily so I can put it in the wash please?"

"Yeah" Emily said quickly picking it all up for Rachel

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked after noticing her face that was all red and blotchy from crying

Emily nodded but then couldn't help herself from bursting into tears.

"Oh love, come here" Rachel said as she engulfed Emily into a hug

The smell of Rachel's perfume had started to be a comfort to Emily and it was now a smell she was familiar with and one she associated with feeling safe and loved.

"Has something happened or are you feeling a bit upset about Mum?"

"Feeling upset about Mum again, I don't know why"

"It's a big thing you're having to go through, you're bound to have some good days and some bad days. No-one's expecting you to carry on as if nothing happened"

"I just really miss her Rachel, it's so hard"

"I know you do darling, she was your Mum and the two of you were really close weren't you?"

"Yeah"

"So even though over time things will get easier, you're always going to miss her. You know I hadn't seen Mum for ages but I still missed her and thought about her a lot because when I was little I used to be really close to her too" Rachel said truthfully

"Today Poppy was talking about how her Mum was taking her shopping tomorrow just the two of them, because it's been ages since she'd been with her Mum without her brothers being there too, but I'm never going to be able to go out with Mum again to do anything" Emily cried

Rachel realised how hard it must be for Emily being surrounded by her friends who all still had their Mum's, especially with Emily getting to the age where she would really want her Mum to help her go through all the stuff she was going to have to go through.

"I know it's a hard thing to listen to other people talking about all the things they do with their Mum, I can remember feeling really jealous when I was your age too, but I'm afraid it's just something you're going to have to get used to"

"I know"

"And I know it's not exactly the same, but I am here for you now so anything you need or anything you want to do don't be afraid to come and ask love. I mean I know we haven't known each other long but it doesn't mean that you can't come and talk to me, okay?"

"Okay. I'm glad I've finally got to meet you, I've always wanted to but Mum always used to say that you wouldn't want to see her but she wouldn't tell me why, apparently I wasn't old enough"

"I think that's a story for another day, but I will tell you at some point what happened between me and Mum because I'm sure it's something you really want to know"

"It is" Emily said smiling a bit now

"I need to put the washing on and just get a bit sorted but I was thinking we could put a film on once tonight once Lily's in bed. Steve's going out with his mates tonight so we can have a girly night just the three of us"

"That will be nice, I'm going to try and get my homework done tonight so then I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the weekend"

"That's a good idea love"

Sadie walked into the kitchen and suddenly got an urge to eat.

There was some leftover pasta bake in the fridge and she ended up eating that along with loads of chocolate and biscuits.

Immediately afterwards Sadie regretted it, she couldn't begin to imagine how many calories that she'd just eaten! She felt disgusted with herself and knew what she needed to do next.

Sadie went straight to the bathroom where she made herself bring up all the food that she'd eaten.

Once she'd finished making herself sick Sadie sat against the bath and let the tears fall down her face.

Sadie hated doing this to herself but she just couldn't help it.

Sadie had started making herself sick a few months ago with all the issues she was having with her Mum and although her Mum wasn't around to make her feel like that anymore she still couldn't stop.

Up until now Sadie had never been concerned with her weight or the way she looked, she always had been a very slim girl anyway. But now she couldn't help but hate the way she looked and would avoid looking at herself in the mirror whenever possible.

Sadie still had tears rolling down her face when the bathroom door started to open, she'd completely forgotten to lock it earlier.

She looked up and saw that Lily had come into the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked sounding worried

"Nothing"

"But you're crying so there must be something wrong or you wouldn't be crying"

"It doesn't matter Lily, honestly I'm fine"

"Should I tell my Mum? She always makes me feel better whenever I feel sad"

"No, what did you come in here for?"

"Because I need a wee"

"Well go on then" Sadie said before walking out of the bathroom so that Lily could go to the loo

Rachel had just come upstairs as Sadie walked out of the bathroom.

"Here's your ironing love" Rachel said as she'd just finished the big pile that she had to do, but she knew it wouldn't be long before the pile was massive again.

"Thanks Rachel" Sadie said as she took the clean clothes from Rachel and walked to her bedroom

Sadie was feeling okay again now and could forget about what she'd done for a short while, until the next time.

The cycle was continuous and Sadie couldn't seem to break out of it.

It was soon time for tea so Rachel called Steve and the girls through to the kitchen.

"Rachel is it okay if I eat mine in the playroom? I was catching up on Silent Witness and I really want to finish it now it's so good" Sadie said, she somehow always managed to find a way to not eat her meals

"Okay love, but just this once"

"What time are you going out tonight?" Rachel asked Steve

"Oh you want me gone already do you?" Steve replied teasingly

"No but we're having a girls night so we need to know when you'll be gone"

"I'm going to leave at about 7"

Once they'd finished eating Steve offered to clear up so Rachel could get Lily bathed and into pyjamas.

"Mummy when someone's crying does it mean they're sad?" Lily said once Rachel had got her in the bath

"Well sometimes people cry when they feel really happy about something but usually it does mean you're upset, why?"

"Because earlier I went into the bathroom and Sadie was crying but she said there was nothing wrong, she didn't seem very happy either"

"She probably just didn't want to talk about why she was feeling sad, because you know sometimes when you've been upset and you didn't want to tell me why so that's probably how Sadie was feeling" Rachel told her but it had actually made her feel quite concerned about Sadie and she wondered why she was crying earlier.

"Did she tell you why she was crying?"

"No she didn't love, I'll speak to her later though don't worry"

Lily had loved having Sadie and Emily around. Both girls were really good with her and they were all becoming quite close which Rachel was pleased about.

Lily was splashing about in the bath but when she looked up she noticed her Mum rubbing her stomach.

"Mummy why are you rubbing your tummy?"

Rachel smiled to herself, Lily didn't miss a thing!

"I've just got a bit of a tummy ache"

Rachel's stomach and back had been hurting since they'd got in from school, and whilst she'd been sitting with Lily in the bath she'd worked out her period was due today so that was probably why.

Rachel was just rinsing the conditioner out of Lily's hair when Steve poked his head around the bathroom door to say that he was leaving now.

"Okay have a good time, please don't get too drunk remember we're meant to be doing something tomorrow" Rachel said however she knew how likely it was that Steve would end up being hungover tomorrow

Once Lily's hair was washed Rachel got her out of the bath and wrapped a towel around her and dried her off.

"Go and put your pyjamas on and then I'll dry your hair off"

Lily walked out so Rachel closed the bathroom door so that she could go to the loo.

When she did she realised she had come on so went through to her en suite afterwards so that she could get sorted.

However when she opened her bathroom cupboard she realised she'd completely run out of pads and tampons. It was unusual for Rachel to let this happen but she had had a lot going on recently.

Rachel realised she'd have to nip out to get some stuff in a minute.

Lily was soon in Rachel's room so Rachel dried Lily's hair off for her before getting her into bed.

She then went downstairs expecting Emily and Sadie to be in there but they weren't so Rachel realised they must be in their rooms.

Rachel then went back upstairs to tell them that she was popping out quickly.

"I just need to nip out to buy something Sadie, are you alright keeping an eye on Lily and Emily while I'm gone?"

"Yeah that's fine, what are you going to buy?" Sadie asked, she always had been quite nosy and inquisitive

"I've just come on my period and I've run out of stuff, the joys eh"

"Oh right" Sadie replied, she couldn't help her cheeks from blushing a bit as she hadn't been expecting Rachel to say this. Sadie hadn't talked about periods with her Mum since the day she started so Sadie couldn't help but find it strange that Rachel was so open about it.

"Are you due on soon? Do you want me to pick you up some too?"

Sadie hadn't had a period in a couple of months now so she was expecting to get her period any day now so she was glad Rachel had asked this.

"Yes please if you don't mind"

"Of course not, what do you use?"

"Well I usually use tampax during the day and then pads at night, but whichever is fine" Sadie said.

"Okay, I won't be long"

Rachel quickly went to tell Emily where she was going before popping to Tesco.

It wasn't long before she was back so once she'd got sorted and changed into her pyjamas she went downstairs to have a girly night with Sadie and Emily.

Sadie and Emily were in their pyjamas too so they were all cosy.

"I'm going to fill a hot water bottle, do either of you want one before the film starts?"

Both girls said yes please, it was just what they wanted when the weather was so cold outside.

Once they were all settled they chose a film to watch but actually ended up talking through quite a lot of it, but it was nice for all three of them getting to know one another a bit better.

After all they were all living together but they hadn't known each other for long at all so it was good to have the opportunity to just sit down and chat for a bit.

They had a nice evening together, but when the girls both decided to go up to bed Rachel decided she would too because she was feeling quite tired.

Rachel said goodnight to Sadie and Emily before making her way to her own room.

When she flicked the light on Rachel noticed Lily was in her bed.

Rachel couldn't help but smile a little at her daughter's cheekiness, Lily knew that if she'd asked Rachel she'd have told her to go back to her own bed so this way Rachel couldn't say no.

Rachel turned the light back off and went into her en suite to get ready for bed.

She came back into the bedroom and was just getting into her pyjamas when Lily started to stir.

Lily sat up in bed but then laid straight back down again when she saw Rachel there and pretended to still be asleep.

"I saw you cheeky monkey, don't worry I'm not going to make you go back to your own bed though"

"Really?" Lily asked sitting up in bed now

"No, you can sleep in here just this once but it's back in your own bed tomorrow okay?"

"Okay Mummy"

"Back to sleep now though" Rachel said as she slid into bed next to Lily and wrapped her arms around her daughter

Lily closed her eyes and it wasn't long before she drifted off again and Rachel wasn't far behind her.

Sadie, on the other hand, was not finding it easy to drop off to sleep.

She had so much on her mind and sitting tonight talking to Rachel and Emily had made her wish, now more than ever, that she could be like all the other girls at school. She wished she could go back to normal.

As Sadie laid there thinking about it all she couldn't help the tears that were spilling from her eyes and soaking her pillow.

She knew she needed help now but she was too embarrassed about what she did to admit to anyone so this was just something she was going to have to sort out on her own.

Sadie had been lying in bed awake for hours; she just couldn't sleep.

Reluctantly, Sadie got out of bed as she needed the loo and she was starting to feel quite uncomfortable lying there.

Sadie was just coming back out of the bathroom when she bumped into Rachel on the landing. Sadie's face was red and blotchy from crying and her eyes were all puffy, but she hadn't been expecting to see anyone so hadn't tried to sort it out.

Rachel noticed her tearstained face at once and it was only then that she remembered what Lily had told her earlier, about her crying in the bathroom earlier.

Sadie flashed Rachel a small smile but then walked right past her and straight to her room hoping Rachel hadn't noticed that she'd been crying.

Rachel decided to follow her in, wondering what she was so upset about.

Sadie was lying down in bed with her eyes closed.

She heard Rachel come in but she was hoping that if she didn't acknowledge she was there then she would go back out again.

Unfortunately though Rachel came over and sat down by Sadie and pushed her hair out of her face.

"What's wrong love?" Rachel asked sounding concerned

"Nothing, why?" Sadie replied with her eyes still closed

"It looked like you've been crying"

"I wasn't" Sadie lied, not that Rachel believed her

"Well Lily said she found you crying earlier in the bathroom, what was wrong then?"

"It doesn't matter, I'm fine now"

"You know you can talk to me don't you love? I know I'm not your Mum but you can still come to me with anything"

"I wasn't feeling very well earlier and I was sick. I know it's pathetic but I hate being sick and it always makes me feel really emotional"

"You were sick? Why didn't you tell me you were feeling unwell?"

"I don't know it just came on all of a sudden and I felt fine once I'd been sick"

Rachel was a bit suspicious of this and wasn't sure if Sadie was actually telling her the truth.

"Are you sure that's all it was?" Rachel asked

Sadie nodded but then found herself bursting into tears.

"Oh sweetheart" Rachel said placing her hand on Sadie's back supportively "please tell me what the matter is. Are you missing your Mum?"

"No" Sadie said truthfully

Sadie wanted nothing more than to share her problems with Rachel and for a split second she nearly did but then she thought about how she would feel with someone else knowing and she realised it definitely wasn't something she wanted.

"I'm just feeling emotional today, I don't know why it's just been one of those days"

"Well you have gone through an awful lot recently, and you're still adjusting aren't you?" Rachel said and Sadie nodded

"But whenever you do feel like this, come and talk to me hmm? Don't suffer on your own, it's not healthy to bottle up your feelings"

"Thanks Rachel"

"That's alright love, let me pass you a tissue"

Rachel grabbed a tissue from the box on Sadie's bedside cabinet and started dabbing at her tears.

"Hopefully you'll feel better after a good night's sleep"

"Yeah hopefully, what time are we going out tomorrow?"

"Not sure love, probably not early because I expect your Dad will be hungover so have a nice lie in"

Rachel left to let Sadie to go to sleep, and even though Sadie still had thoughts running through her mind she did manage to fall asleep.

When Rachel went back to bed she kept thinking about Sadie. She wasn't sure she'd got the whole truth out of Sadie but she didn't want to push her to tell her something that she didn't want to.

Rachel definitely wasn't a woman to give up on helping someone though, and if there really was something bothering Sadie she was determined to get to the bottom of wherever it was.

Please review xxxx


	3. Chapter 3

Rachel was on her way to Emily's school as she was having a meeting with her head of year. The school had been keen to keep in regular contact with Rachel just to let her know how Emily was coping with everything at school.

She was running a little bit late after having to deal with a pupil who seemed to be causing a lot of trouble at the minute.

Rachel parked the car and walked to reception as quickly as she could.

Luckily for Rachel Emily's head of year, Mrs Miller, was running a bit late too, but after a few minutes she came to meet Rachel and then the two of them went to her office.

"Emily seems to have settled back into school really well. Her teachers say she seems to be engaging with lessons and happy in her friendship group. There's still the odd occasion where she gets a bit upset but that's only to be expected really"

"That's good to know. I know she really wasn't looking forward to coming back to school, but I'm glad she's doing okay"

"The only thing that I'm not too happy about though, is that Emily hasn't attended any of her PE lessons since returning to school"

Rachel was surprised by this as Emily didn't really seem like the type of girl to skip lessons.

"Oh really? I've washed her PE kit a few times"

"Well I've spoken to Emily about it today and she said she just hasn't been wanting to do PE, but she's promised me she'll go from now on"

"Okay, I'll have a chat with her tonight about it. Have any of her friends been skipping too or is it just her?" Rachel asked thinking it likely that Emily might have been skiving PE with her friends something a lot of the girls at Waterloo Road had a tendency to do

"No it's just her"

Rachel chatted with Emily's head of year for a little bit longer before being taken back to reception.

"Thanks for coming in Rachel, as long as Emily starts attending her PE lessons there shouldn't be any reason for you to come back in"

Rachel then went and waited in the car for Emily and Sadie to come out of school. She was going to pick them up from school today because Steve had a half- day at work meaning he could pick Lily up.

Students soon started flooding out of the school and eventually Sadie got into the car next to Rachel.

"Hiya love, how's your day been?"

"Not too bad thanks, how about yours?"

"Busy, at least it's Friday though, huh"

It wasn't too much longer before Emily was in the car too so Rachel started to drive home.

"How was your day Emily?"

"Good thank you, did you speak to Mrs Miller?" Emily asked, she'd been worried about this because she didn't like the thought of them talking about her when she wasn't there

"Yes I did love, she's really impressed with how you've settled back into school which is good"

Emily felt relieved and wondered why she'd been worrying about it all day.

Rachel hadn't brought up the subject of her missing PE lessons in front of Sadie, knowing Emily was likely to get a bit embarrassed.

Rachel pulled onto the drive just as Steve and Lily were getting out the car.

As soon as Lily saw Rachel get out of the car she ran over and wrapped her arms around her Mum.

"This is a nice welcome home Lily"

"I missed you today Mummy"

"Did you love? Well you've got me for the whole weekend now haven't you?"

They all made their way into the house all glad about the fact it was a Friday.

The girls had all gone upstairs to change out of their school uniform so Rachel went and got out of her work clothes too before deciding it go and have a quick chat with Emily.

Rachel knocked on Emily's bedroom door.

"Come in"

Rachel went in and then closed the door behind her.

"Can I have a quick word about something love?"

"Yeah" Emily said wondering what Rachel wanted to say

Rachel went and sat on Emily's bed and then patted the space next to her for Emily to sit down too.

"When I was talking to Mrs Miller today she did mention that you haven't been turning up for your PE lessons"

"I'm really sorry Rachel" Emily said, even though Rachel was Emily's sister obviously she was a lot older so Emily did still worry about being in trouble with Rachel.

"Obviously I'm not too happy about it, but I have a feeling there's a reason why you're doing it because I don't think you're the type of girl to do something like this especially without your friends"

"I just don't like PE that much"

"Well that's not an excuse not to go, it's compulsory. Are you sure there isn't anything else why you don't want to go?"

Emily shook her head but then couldn't help herself from bursting into tears, confirming to Rachel that there clearly was something else going on.

Rachel didn't say anything for the minute, just pulled Emily into her chest and let her have a little cry.

After a couple of minutes Emily pulled away.

"Come on then darling, tell me what's going on"

"I don't want to"

"Why not?"

"Because it's embarrassing"

"I can do embarrassing, and anyway I'm sure whatever it is it won't be that bad once you've said it"

"I don't like PE because I don't like getting changed in front of the other girls" Emily mumbled

"Why not?" Rachel asked slightly confused "you've got a lovely, slim figure"

"Because everyone else wears a bra, I'm the only one who doesn't" Emily said as her cheeks started to go red

Rachel could empathise with how she was feeling. She knew how hard it was to not have your Mum to talk to about things like this.

"Well then, I suggest you and I have a little shopping trip over the weekend and buy you some"

"Really?"

"If you want to start wearing one yes, you're eleven so you're bound to want to"

"I never asked Mum because I thought she'd say I didn't need one"

"If it's going to make you feel more comfortable then I certainly wouldn't stop you from wearing one, besides I think it probably is about time you wore one anyway" Rachel said as she had noticed that Emily was starting to get a bit of a figure

Emily was so glad she'd talked to Rachel about this now, and couldn't wait to get her first bra.

"Now then love, I do want you to be able to talk to me about things like this because obviously you are getting to that stage in your life where a lot of things are going to start changing. So never be afraid to come and talk to me okay, and remember I've been through it all myself"

"Okay thanks Rachel"

"And I'm sure if you felt like talking to Sadie about anything too, she'd be more than happy to help you"

Rachel decided to change the subject now, realising that it probably wasn't a conversation that Emily was finding very comfortable.

"Anyway I've bought all the stuff for us to make pizzas tonight so do you fancy helping me make the bases?"

"Yeah okay"

Rachel had found that the best way was to make the base herself and then just let Lily put the toppings on, however she knew that Emily really enjoyed baking so thought she might like to help.

Rachel and Daisy went down to the kitchen and had a nice time together making the bases.

Daisy had just taken the bases to put into the airing cupboard to rise when Daisy came into the kitchen.

"Mummy I'm hungry, please can I have something to eat?"

"You already had a chocolate muffin when you got in from school, you can wait until tea now"

"But I'm really hungry"

"Have some grapes then"

Rachel got a bowl out of the cupboard and put a few grapes in for Lily.

"What are we having for tea?"

"We're going to make pizzas love"

"Yay, can I make it now?"

"Not yet, the pizza dough is just rising"

Lily ate her grapes and then went back to playing in the play room.

Rachel got all of the toppings prepared before going upstairs to see Sadie as she hadn't spoken to her since they'd got back from school.

"Have you got any plans for the weekend?"

"No, nothing really"

"Why don't you see if some of your friends want to do something?" Rachel suggested

Sadie had met up with some of the girls from her school last weekend and had really enjoyed it.

"I don't know if they want to"

"Well you don't know unless you ask"

"I could ask if they want to go shopping tomorrow I guess"

"Yeah that would be nice, you could go out for a meal after too I'd give you the money"

"No I'll just see if they want to go shopping"

"Okay love, whatever you want to do. I'm taking Emily shopping tomorrow so I can give you a lift"

"Thanks Rachel"

"No problem"

Rachel pottered around the house for a bit and got on with a few jobs before shouting the girls through to the kitchen to make their pizzas.

"Steve are you going to come and make your pizza too?" Rachel said as Steve walked into the kitchen

Steve smiled at her before joining them at the table

They had fun making their pizzas together.

"I think you've probably got enough on there now Lily" Rachel said laughing at the complete mixture that she'd put on

Once they had all finished Rachel got them into the oven before opening a bottle of wine for her and Steve.

It was nice for the two of them to sit down and chat for a bit before the pizzas were done.

Once they came out of the oven Rachel cut them up before laying them on the table and then called the girls for tea.

Sadie ate all of her pizza as well as quite a lot of garlic bread, which was a change from her hardly eating anything at all.

Rachel was becoming more and more suspicious over Sadie's eating habits. She seemed to skip so many meals and whenever she did eat she would always eat loads.

Part of her wanted to talk to Sadie about this, but she was worried she would embarrass her. Rachel hadn't mentioned it to Steve either because she was worried he would go about dealing with it in completely the wrong way.

As soon as she'd finished eating Sadie asked to leave the table.

"Can you not wait until everyone's finished eating?" Rachel said to her

"But I really need the loo"

"Okay then" Rachel said, she couldn't exactly stop her from leaving to go to the loo

Sadie went upstairs and this really did leave Rachel wondering what she was doing.

"I'll be back in a second" Rachel said wanting to see whether her suspicions about Sadie were correct

"Talk about Sadie waiting until everyone's finished but then leave yourself" Steve said but Rachel knew he was only teasing

Rachel went upstairs and stood outside the bathroom door.

When she heard Sadie in there being sick, she was almost certain that Sadie was suffering with bulimia.

Rachel needed a couple of minutes to think about what to do next, but as soon as she heard Sadie flush the loo she quickly went back downstairs thinking now wasn't the best time to tell Sadie that she knew, well at least that she thought she knew. Obviously Rachel couldn't be certain about whether Sadie actually was bulimic or not.

Sadie came back downstairs again just as Rachel and Steve were starting to clear up.

Rachel gave her a small smile noticing that Sadie looked as though she'd been crying.

Sadie gave them a hand to clear up before going up to her room.

Rachel decided to go up and have a word now, but she felt really nervous about it as she had no idea how Sadie would take what she was about to say.

Rachel knocked and then, once Sadie said she could, went into Sadie's room and closed the door.

"Are you okay love?"

"Yes thanks, why?"

"I heard you being sick earlier"

"Oh" Sadie said looking down at the ground "yeah I've been feeling a bit funny all day and that pizza just made me feel worse"

Rachel took a deep breath before saying "Sadie is there something going on you want to tell me about? It's just recently I've noticed a few things and they, well they all add up to you being bulimic"

Hearing Rachel saying this made Sadie feel extremely embarrassed.

"What? No of course I haven't. You can't just jump to conclusions like that I know you think you're the perfect Miss Mason that can fix all of her students problems but I'm not one of your students and I don't need fixing" Sadie shouted

"Ok love, I'm sorry I know I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, I was just worried"

"Well you needn't have been, I'm fine" Sadie said still sounding angry

"I'll leave you to it then" Rachel said before leaving again still feeling worried about Sadie

As soon as Rachel left Sadie broke into uncontrollable sobs. She hated herself for what she was doing and was so embarrassed that Rachel had found out about it.

Once Sadie had calmed herself down she got her phone out and text one of her friends saying she would come to the party actually.

She hadn't been in the mood to go to a party earlier but right now there was nothing she wanted to do more than get ridiculously drunk.

Sadie went downstairs into the lounge where Rachel was dusting and Steve was watching a film with Lily.

"Dad, Rachel would I be able to go to a party tonight please?"

Steve looked at Rachel to reply. Steve never had had much authority over Sadie and since coming over her Sadie tended to listen to Rachel more and ask her if she was allowed to do stuff.

"Yeah if you want, whose party is it?"

"A boy in my year. I wasn't in the mood earlier but I am now"

"I'm happy as long as your Dad is" Rachel said looking at Steve who nodded his head "but I want you home before midnight"

"Yeah okay"

"Do you need a lift there?"

"No I'm going to walk round with Zoe, she only lives two minutes from here and then we're going to share a taxi back" Sadie said, she'd thought this all though as she knew Rachel would want the details

"Okay"

Sadie went upstairs to get ready. Right now she was feeling terrible about herself and just wanted to forget about it all, even if it was just for a night.

Once Sadie was ready she quietly went downstairs and opened up the alcohol cupboard in the kitchen.

She took out a bottle of vodka and put it in her bag before texting Zoe to say she was just leaving.

Sadie quickly went into the lounge to say goodbye.

"I'm off now"

"Okay love, have you got your key?" Rachel asked although she was planning on waiting up until Sadie was home

"Yeah it's in my bag"

"Right, well have a good time but do be sensible"

"Yes, no drinking Sadie" Steve said however he knew how unlikely this was at a party full of year elevens

Sadie then left to go to her party with the aim of getting incredibly drunk in her head.

Rachel got Lily into bed reasonably early so that then she could just have a relaxing Friday night, which was just what she needed after a busy week at work.

Daisy sat with Rachel and Steve for the evening and watched TV but then went up to bed at about 10.

Rachel and Steve were still downstairs at about 11:30. Neither of them wanted to go to sleep until they knew she was back safely from her party.

Suddenly the doorbell rang so Steve went to answer it.

He was surprised when he saw his daughter having to be supported by another girl as she could barely walk.

Steve took Sadie inside and Sadie's friend, Zoe, stepped inside as well.

Rachel had come out by this time too to see what was going on. She sighed when she saw how drunk Sadie was.

Rachel had never met this girl but was guessing it might be Zoe.

"Are you Zoe?"

"Yes" the girl said smiling

"Thank you ever so much for bringing her back"

"It's okay, Sadie wouldn't stop crying she seemed really upset"

"Right" Rachel sighed "do you want Steve to walk you home?"

"No it's okay, the taxi said he'd wait outside so I'd better go"

"Let us give you some money for the taxi then because I'm guessing Sadie hasn't given any"

"You don't have to do that"

Steve got his wallet out of his pocked and gave Zoe some money and then the girl left.

Rachel was glad that Sadie had such a kind and polite friend to bring her back.

"Let's get you up to bed Sadie" Rachel said

"No I want to go back to the party it was really run, I just want to keep dancing"

Rachel and Steve took Sadie upstairs and into her bedroom.

"You can go to bed if you like Rach" Steve said after Rachel yawned

"No it's fine you go to bed, I'll help Sadie change into her pyjamas so she's a bit comfier"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes of course"

Steve left leaving Sadie with Rachel.

Rachel had just helped Sadie out of her dress when she saw sick all down Rachel.

"A bit of warning would have been nice Sadie"

"Sorry"

Rachel rushed Sadie to the bathroom as she looked as though she was about to be sick again, which she wasn't wrong about.

Rachel rubbed Sadie's back as she continued to be sick.

Once she'd finished Sadie just sat back against the bath

"Wait there, I'm just going to change my top" Rachel said as she was covered in sick

Rachel got changed into her nightie as quickly as she could before rushing back to Sadie where she was crying.

Rachel took off all of Sadie's makeup for her whilst she continued to cry.

"Come on then love, let's get you into bed"

"Please don't be angry Rachel" Sadie said as she was sobering up a little bit now

"We'll talk about it in the morning Sadie"

Rachel had been expecting Sadie to be a bit tipsy when she got back however she hadn't been expecting her to turn up in such a bad way.

When they were back in her room Rachel got Sadie into her pyjamas and then into bed.

Luckily Sadie had missed the floor when she was sick and it had just gone down Rachel.

When Rachel looked up from checking the floor she saw Sadie sat up straight in bed with tears still rolling down her face.

"Rachel you were right about what you said to me earlier?"

"What did I say to you earlier?"

"You said you thought that… that I have bulimia"

Rachel came and sat down next to Sadie and took hold of her hands.

"I wish you didn't feel like you couldn't tell me this when you weren't drunk"

"I just wish I could stop, I want to be like everyone else but I just can't help it" Sadie sobbed

Rachel hated seeing her so upset about this.

"We're going to get you help Sadie and things will get better"

"No they won't, how's it ever going to get better and now everyone at school will probably find out because I told Zoe at the party, so really everything's just going to get worse"

"It's not darling, I promise you. I think you've probably done the hardest bit, you've admitted that you do have a problem so now we can make you better"

"Really?"

"Yes love, it won't be an easy or a quick journey by any means but we'll get there"

"Thank you Rachel" Sadie said as Rachel brushed away her tears with her fingers

"Enough of the tears now, we'll talk more in the morning after you've had a good night sleep"

"Okay" Sadie said as she lied down

"You don't have to deal with this on your own anymore Sadie, goodnight darling" Rachel said as she placed a kiss on Sadie's forehead

"Night Rachel" Sadie said before drifting off to sleep

Rachel knew that Sadie's recovery was going to be tough, but she planned to be there for her every step of the way.

 **Please review. I know I haven't included Lily in this a lot yet so next chapter will be based around her xxxx**


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel was having a particularly stressful day at work. She seemed to be dealing with too many disruptive pupils for her liking, but she knew this was likely to be because of the wet and windy weather outside. This always did seem to make it hard for the pupils to settle down and focus.

She was just eating her sandwich whilst checking through her emails when she had a call from Lily's teacher saying that she was unwell and needed picking up.

Lily had said she wasn't very well that morning but Rachel had told her to go to school and see how she got on.

Rachel sighed, Lily being poorly really was the last thing she needed at the minute. She had a meeting with the governors after lunch and once she was done there she had to take Sadie to one of her counselling appointments.

After closing down her laptop Rachel put on her coat and picked her bag up before telling Joyce where she was going and then rushing to her car.

Luckily it was only a ten minute drive to Lily's school from Waterloo Road so Rachel could get there quickly.

She went straight into reception where Lily was sat on one of the sofas. Rachel noticed immediately how pale she looked.

Rachel went over to her and sat down and wrapped her arm around Lily as she looked as though she needed a cuddle.

As soon as Rachel did this though Lily burst into tears.

"Are you not feeling very well love?" Rachel asked and Lily shook her head

"Oh dear, let's get you home then"

Rachel signed Lily out before taking her to the car and driving her home.

Lily fell asleep on the drive home so Rachel ended up carrying her in from the car, luckily she wasn't very heavy.

Rachel took her upstairs to her bedroom to change her out of her school uniform and into pyjamas so that she was a bit more comfortable.

"Do you want to get into bed or lie on the sofa?"

"Lie on the sofa"

"Okay, do you want me to bring your quilt down?"

"Yes please"

Rachel got Lily's quilt off her bed and then took hold of Lily's hand to walk downstairs.

Once Rachel had got Lily comfy she went out to get her a glass of water and then came into sit with her for a bit.

"Grandma should be here soon love to look after you, and then I've got to go back to work"

Lily's bottom lip started to wobble when Rachel said this.

"I don't want you to leave me though Mummy"

"I'm afraid I've got to, but only for a few hours"

"I can come with you like I did last time I was poorly"

"No because I've got an important meeting so it's a bit different to you sitting with me in my office for the last hour of school"

Suddenly Rachel heard Steve's Mum's voice.

"Hello" Steve's Mum, Susan, said as she opened the front door

"Hiya Susan, we're in the lounge" Rachel replied

By the time Susan had taken her shoes and coat off and come in Lily had climbed onto Rachel's lap.

"You not feeling too well love?" Susan asked her grand daughter

Lily didn't reply, but instead buried her head into Rachel's chest. She did tend to become quite clingy around Rachel whenever she was poorly. She always was a Mummy's girl, but especially when she wasn't very well.

"Right then Lil, I'm going to go back to work now so why don't I put a film on for you to watch with Grandma?"

"I want to stay with you"

"That's not an option love because I've already told you I've got a very important meeting that I have to go to. I won't be too long though"

Rachel tried to lift Lily off her lap but she only held on tighter.

So in the end Rachel had to be quite firm and she stood up with Lily and passed her to Susan.

Lily was in floods of tears now.

"Just go Rachel, she'll be fine"

Rachel hated leaving when Lily was like this but she didn't really have much choice because she really did have to be at the meeting.

"I'll be back soon Lily, and then we can cuddle all evening. Thanks for looking after her Susan"

Rachel got her coat and shoes on and walked out the door despite Lily's protests.

By the time Rachel got in the car she realised how tight on time she was, so she put her foot down a bit to get back to Waterloo Road as quickly as she could.

She managed to get back just in time and luckily when she got into her office Eddie was in there getting everything sorted.

"Joyce said you had to pick Lily up from school, is she okay?"

"Yeah just a sore throat and a bit of a temperature" Rachel said "I've just remembered though I didn't even give her any medicine, what kind of a Mum am I?"

Rachel quickly rang Susan who said she would give her some as soon as she woke up, but apparently she'd got herself so worked up over Rachel leaving that she'd exhausted herself and ended up falling asleep.

The governors had soon arrived so Rachel and Eddie went down to meet them.

The meeting lasted a couple of hours so as soon as the meeting had finished Rachel had to leave school straight away to pick Sadie up from school to take her to her appointment.

Rachel knew how much Sadie didn't like having to speak to a counsellor, but she was making good progress which was good.

She'd stopped making herself sick, although sometimes she did still want to however whenever she did she'd go to Rachel and Rachel would help her and calm her down.

Rachel had only been waiting a few minutes when Sadie got in the car next to.

"Hiya, how's your day been?"

"Not too bad, how about yours"

"Busy, and Lily's not well either just to add to all the things I had to do today"

"Only one more day and it's the weekend"

"Thank goodness for that"

When they arrived Rachel went in with Sadie and waited in the waiting room with her.

They'd been waiting for ten minutes or so when Sadie's counsellor came out.

"Hi Sadie, do you want to come in"

"I'll see you in an hour" Rachel said as Sadie stood up

"Okay"

Rachel gave Sadie a reassuring smile and then watched as she went in.

Once Sadie had gone into the room Rachel went back to the car and drove to Tesco.

She really wasn't in the mood for cooking much tonight so she just picked up some jacket potatoes for them to have.

By the time she'd finished her shop it was nearly time to pick Sadie up again because she'd done a fairly big shop.

Rachel was back in the waiting room when Sadie came out.

When she did Sadie's face told her that she'd found whatever they'd been talking about today quite difficult however Rachel didn't say anything now when there were other people around.

The two of them walked back to the car and when they got in Sadie put her seat belt on before facing away from Rachel and staring out of the window.

Rachel decided it best not to say anything for the minute, thinking Sadie probably wasn't in the mood for talking.

Sadie presumed Rachel was just going to drive home however after five minutes Sadie realised they were going in the wrong direction from home.

"Where are we going Rachel?" Sadie asked

"I thought we could go for a quick walk in the park before we go home, I don't know about you but I could certainly do with a bit of fresh air"

The truth was Rachel thought that Sadie could do with a bit of space before going home; she knew if she drove her straight home she'd only go straight up to her room.

Rachel drove to one of her favourite parks and parked in the car park.

As soon as they were both out of the car Rachel wrapped her arms around Sadie and as soon as she did she burst into tears.

Sadie cried into Rachel for a few minutes and eventually pulled away.

"I could tell that's what you needed, as soon as you came into the waiting room" Rachel said as the two of them started to walk

"It's just the stuff we were talking about today was really hard, I don't get why she needs to drag up all the bad details of my life"

"Because she wants to help you love, so she needs to understand everything that's happened to you to make you start doing what you did"

"But we were talking about when Mum and Dad got divorced and I hate talking about that" Sadie said still in tears

Rachel knew that Sadie had a lot of bottled up feelings and, although she couldn't see it, getting her to talk about it was the only way she was going to get over it.

Sadie opened up to Rachel about how hard she found it when Steve moved from Newcastle back to Manchester, as they walked around the park.

Rachel was the one person that Sadie felt completely comfortable with sharing her feelings with, something that she usually found so difficult to do. There was just something about Rachel that made her so easy to talk to.

After a while their topic of conversation changed and they were soon talking about what they were going to do at the weekend.

Rachel suddenly noticed Steph walking towards them walking her dog, so she waved.

"Do you know her?" Sadie asked

"Yeah she's one of the teachers at my school"

"Don't stop and talk to her, I bet I look a right mess"

"I can't exactly not speak, wait there"

Rachel wiped away Sadie's smudged mascara with her thumb.

"There you go, you look fine now" Rachel said. It was obvious she'd been crying but she knew Steph wouldn't say anything.

"Hi Steph" Rachel said as they got close enough to speak

"Hi Rachel" Steph said smiling at them both

"This is Steve's daughter, Sadie"

"Hello" Sadie said politely

"Hiya"

They stayed and chatted for ten minutes and then they carried on walking.

Once they'd had a walk they returned back to the car.

Even though it was cold, it was a really nice day so it would've been nice to stay for a bit longer really but Rachel knew she should be getting back to Lily.

Rachel was glad to see the smile had returned to Sadie's face.

When they got in Rachel took the shopping into the kitchen and then went straight into the kitchen.

She was still lying on the sofa and fast asleep.

Susan was still there talking to Steve.

"How was she this afternoon?" Rachel asked

"She's been asleep for most of it, probably doing her good though"

"Thanks for looking after her"

"It was no problem, you know I'm happy to help anytime"

"I really do appreciate it, do you want a cuppa?"

"No I really must be going, I need to cook tea for me and John"

Rachel saw Susan out before going to put the potatoes in the oven and unpacking all of the shopping.

After that she went upstairs to speak to Emily as she hadn't seen her yet.

Emily was sat at her desk doing some homework.

"Have you had a good day Em?"

"It was okay thank you, Rachel is it okay if I go for a sleepover tomorrow night?"

"Yeah of course, who's having one?"

"It's Bethany's Birthday tomorrow so she's having one for her Birthday"

"That will be nice, are you going straight from school or are you coming home first"

"I'll come home first so I can pick up my stuff. Could we maybe go into town first so I can buy her a present?"

"Yeah of course, I should be able to finish work a bit early again tomorrow so we I'll pick you up from school and we can go straight away"

Rachel chatted to Emily for a bit longer before going to change out of her work clothes and then going downstairs.

When she went into the lounge Lily was awake so she went over and sat with her.

"Mummy" Lily said happily as she snuggled up against her Mum

"How are you feeling love?"

"My throat still hurts and so does my head"

Rachel put her hand to her forehead and realised she did still have a temperature.

"I'll get you some more medicine, and then do you fancy a quite bath before tea?"

Lily nodded "but I'm not hungry Mummy"

"Well you don't have to eat if you're not hungry, but maybe just try and eat a bit"

Rachel went and got the calpol and measured it out before giving it to Lily before going up to run her a bath.

Once it was run Rachel went downstairs and helped Lily to come up the stairs and into the bathroom.

When Rachel took Lily's pyjama top off she noticed a rash all over her stomach and chest.

"What are you looking at Mummy?"

"You've got a rash all over your chest and stomach look"

Lily looked down and saw it and then got scared.

"Oh no is it really bad, am I really poorly?"

"No I'm sure it's fine, we'll just keep an eye on it and if it's not gone by tomorrow we might go to the Doctor's"

Rachel got Lily into the bath.

Usually Lily would be playing and splashing around but she was just lying there as she really was feeling quite poorly.

Rachel sat with Lily whilst she had a soak, and then got her hair wet before gently massaging the shampoo in.

Once Lily's hair was washed Rachel got Lily out and dried her off.

"Let's go and get you into some clean pyjamas then shall we?"

Once Lily was in some clean pyjamas Rachel dried her hair off and then Lily climbed onto her bed for a lie down.

Rachel picked up Lily's school bag to sort through it as her lunch box was still in it.

She had a quick read through the weekly newsletter and read that Scarlet fever was going around the school. Rachel quickly googled the symptoms of it on her phone and realised that Lily had quite a few of the symptoms so wondered whether this was what was wrong with Lily.

She decided it was best to take Lily to the doctor's in the morning so that they could find out.

"I need to go and get tea sorted, do you want to stay here or come down?"

"I'll stay here"

Rachel tucked her into bed before going down to the kitchen.

She put some baked beans in the microwave and started grating some cheese before shouting to Emily and Sadie to lay the table and get drinks sorted.

Once it was all ready Rachel shouted to Steve and then went to see if she could get Lily to come down.

As much as she didn't want to, Lily did come back downstairs with Rachel however she only managed to eat a few mouthfuls of her jacket potato.

"You can go and lie on the sofa if you want love, I'll come in when we've finished eating"

Lily got down from the table and went to lie on the sofa.

"Is she going to school tomorrow?" Sadie asked

"No I don't think so, I think she might have Scarlet Fever apparently it's going around her school at the moment so I'm going to take her to the doctor's in the morning"

"Is it contagious? Could we catch it?"

"Possibly, but I think it mainly affects young children"

Once everyone had finished eating Steve said he would clear up so Rachel went in and sat with Lily for a bit.

"Shall we get you up to bed then love?"

Lily nodded, when normally she would try to stay up as late as possible.

Once Lily had been to the bathroom she got into bed and Rachel tucked her in.

"Hopefully you'll feel a bit better after a good night's sleep, but I'm going to get you a doctor's appointment in the morning so we can find out what's causing this rash. If you don't feel very well in the night, come and wake me up okay?"

"Okay Mummy"

Rachel stayed with Lily until she'd fallen asleep, which didn't take long.

Rachel then went downstairs and watched EastEnders, which was just starting, with Steve and Sadie.

Emily came down about halfway through after having a shower.

Everyone was really looking forward to tomorrow being over and half term starting.

They spent the evening together in front of the TV but when the girls went up to bed Rachel and Steve did as well.

Rachel was so tired after a busy day, and was definitely looking forward to a week off work especially when Steve had the week off too.

They were taking the girls to Centre Parcs on Monday for the week and she knew they were all really looking forward to that.

In the middle of the night Rachel was woken up by Lily who said she was feeling really poorly.

"Why don't you jump into bed with us?" Rachel suggested as she was so warm and cosy that she didn't feel like putting Lily back to bed.

Rachel moved up closer to Steve so that Lily could get in and then wrapped her arms around her.

Luckily Lily went back to sleep fairly quickly and slept through until the morning.

The next morning Rachel rang the doctor's surgery as soon as it opened and managed to get her an appointment before she even needed to be in work, however it meant that they had to leave straight away.

They went into see the doctor who said that Lily did have Scarlet fever so prescribed her with a course of antibiotics.

"Mummy why is it called Scarlet fever?" Lily asked

"Do you know what love, I have absolutely no idea"

Rachel dropped Lily off to Steve's Mum's house and although Lily wasn't entirely happy about Rachel leaving her, she wasn't as upset as she had been yesterday which Rachel was glad about.

The day passed reasonable quickly and it was soon time to leave school to go and get Sadie and Emily.

Sadie had decided to come with them too rather than catching the bus home.

"Right then, what do you want to get for Bethany?" Rachel asked once they were in town

"Well I don't really have much money, so I was just going to buy her some chocolate or something" Emily said

"Oh love, you don't need to pay for Bethany's present I'll buy that"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes of course, how about we head to Boots and buy her something in there?"

"Yeah can we get her some makeup, Bethany really likes makeup"

"I would think so, as long as she's allowed to wear it"

"Yeah she is, but her Mum doesn't let her wear very much to school"

Emily picked out a nice makeup set for her.

While they were in there Rachel picked up a few toiletries that they needed. She also picked up a mascara for Emily, without her realising as she wanted to surprise her.

They didn't stay in town for long as Rachel wanted to get back for Lily and Emily was meant to be getting to Bethany's for 5.

Once they'd picked up Lily from Steve's Mum and Dad's house they drove home and Emily went straight upstairs to get changed and pack her stuff.

Rachel followed her up.

"I picked up this for you while we were in Boots" Rachel said handing her the mascara

A big smile spread across Emily's face.

"Thanks Rachel"

"That's okay love, when you said about Bethany wearing makeup I thought you'd probably like to start wearing some too?"

"Yeah I just didn't know if you'd let me"

"I don't mind, as long as you don't wear too much because you're beautiful enough without it but I know you're at the age now where you're bound to want to wear a bit"

"Rachel what do you think I should wear tonight?"

"Just wear whatever you feel comfortable in, how about that black dress with the bit at the top we bought the other day? That will look nice but it's not too dressy"

"Oh yeah that's a good idea I'll wear that, thanks Rachel"

Emily got ready for her sleepover and once she was ready Rachel dropped her over before going back to enjoy the first evening of half term.


	5. Chapter 5

The weekend had passed and Rachel and the family were getting ready to leave to go to Centre Parcs.

Lily wasn't 100% better yet, but she was nearly there.

Despite Rachel's best efforts to get as organised as she could the night before, she was still rushing around trying to get everything sorted.

Sadie wasn't even back yet, she'd had a party last night and was staying at one of her friends after but she'd promised Rachel she'd be home by 11 and she'd even said she would help make sandwiches and stuff for the car journey.

Rachel checked her phone at about half past 11 and realised she had a text from Sadie asking if she could be picked up from her friend's house, rather than coming back to the house first.

Rachel decided to give Sadie a quick ring, but she didn't pick up.

Sadie had supposedly been packing yesterday so Rachel hoped that she'd packed everything she wanted. Rachel had a quick look through what Sadie had packed and she couldn't think of anything else she might want, other than her makeup and toiletries which she would have with her already.

About fifteen minutes later everything was finally sorted so Steve got the car loaded up.

"Lily, Emily, come and get your shoes on it's time to go"

Lily, who had been in a particularly quiet mood all morning and last night, came down first and put her shoes on without saying a word to Rachel.

"You'd better go to the loo before we leave love, we don't want to have to stop halfway there"

"I don't need to go"

"You might need to in half an hour, so just try and go now"

"I can't go if I don't need to"

"Just do as I say Lily"

Lily stomped off to the downstairs loo.

Once she came out again Emily was downstairs too so they were all ready to go.

Steve and the girls got in the car and Rachel locked the house up before joining them.

"Where's Sadie?"

"She's at Hannah's house, she's sent me the address" Rachel said as she entered it into the sat nav

"Rachel can I connect my phone?" Emily asked immediately, knowing otherwise Sadie would have her music on again

"No I bought a new CD that I think we'll all like"

They pulled up outside Hannah's house and Sadie came straight out.

"How come you needed picking up?" Rachel asked as soon as Sadie got into the car

"Sorry we woke up late and I wanted to have time to get ready before we left"

"You were meant to be helping me pack the lunch up"

"I said I'm sorry, you don't need to go on about it" Sadie snapped

"Oh dear, it looks like we've got two girls in a bit of a mood today"

"I'm not in a mood" Emily said

"I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about Lily" Rachel said as she glanced in the mirror at her daughter, causing Lily to scowl at her

Rachel chose to ignore her though, not wanting their trip away to get off to a bad start.

Both Sadie and Lily both stayed practically silent the whole way.

Rachel had put Sadie's bad mood down to her being tired after her party last night but she didn't know what had caused Lily's bad mood so thought she might need a little chat with her when they arrived.

After they'd checked in they weren't allowed into their lodge yet as it was still too early.

"How about we go for a swim then?" Rachel suggested knowing all three girls would be keen to head straight to the swimming pool

"I can't wait to go in the swimming pool, it looks amazing" Emily said excitedly

"Lily, Sadie, are you happy to do that?"

"Yep" Sadie said

"Lily?" Rachel asked

"I don't mind"

They parked in the car park and they all got their swimming stuff out of their bags.

"I'll take Lily's stuff in my bag, and have you got room in your bag for Emily's stuff Sadie?"

"Yeah I guess so"

"What about mine?" Steve asked playfully

"I would imagine you could probably carry your own"

They then started to walk to the swimming pool.

"Cheer up Sadie, us coming here is meant to be a bit of a treat" Steve said having also picked up on Sadie's bad mood

"I don't need to cheer up" Sadie said before rolling her eyes at her Dad

When she came to think of it though she realised that actually she hadn't been in the best of moods actually and she was taking it out on everyone else which was unfair. She didn't know why but every little thing seemed to be getting to her, but she knew she needed to try to be in a better mood.

"Do you mind if I grab a coffee before we go in? I'll probably still be ready before you all anyway" Steve said when they arrived

"Yeah that's fine, shall we meet you in the main bit of the pool?"

"See you soon" Steve said before giving Rachel a kiss and then walking off

Rachel walked into the changing rooms with the girls.

"Mummy I need the toilet"

"Okay, let's go before we get changed then"

Sadie and Emily decided they would go before they got changed as well.

When Sadie was on the loo she realised she'd come on her period. She sighed because she'd only been on three weeks ago and she hated the fact her periods were so irregular.

Sadie hadn't bothered to pack any stuff because she wasn't expecting to come on. It did explain why she was so het up though.

Sadie came out and saw Rachel washing her hands so went over to her.

"Rachel I've come on my period" Sadie said really quietly as she didn't want anyone else to hear

"Do you need stuff?"

"Yes please"

"Here you go take my bag, there's a bag in there filled with pads and tampons"

"Thanks Rachel, sorry for being in such a bad mood today"

"I do know it's hard to stay calm sometimes when it is that time of the month, so don't worry love" Rachel said giving her arm a squeeze

Sadie then went back into the cubicle and once she was done they went to find some changing rooms.

"There you go girls there's two there, and then you can come in with me Lily"

"I want to go in one on my own"

"Well there's not enough, so you'll have to come in with me"

"I don't want to"

"Do you mind going in one with me Emily?" Sadie asked knowing that Rachel wouldn't want a scene caused

"No I don't mind"

"Thanks girls, when you're changed Lily wait out here don't go on in without me okay?"

"Okay" Lily said

Rachel passed Lily her swimsuit and then Lily went in and closed the door.

Rachel got changed as quickly as she could as she was worried Lily wasn't going to wait. Luckily when she came out Lily was still getting changed.

A couple of minutes later they were all changed so they went and put their stuff into lockers before heading to the pool.

Sadie and Lily had both been to Centre Parcs before but it was Emily hadn't so she was extremely excited about going in the pool. Sadie and Lily both were too.

"Can we go straight to the rapids?" Sadie asked

"Yeah I can't wait to do that it looks so good" Emily replied

"Am I allowed to go too Mummy?" Lily asked

"Yeah I suppose so"

Rachel had never let her go on the rapids before, however she felt that Lily's swimming had come on a lot since starting her swimming lessons so thought she'd be fine as long as everyone kept a close eye on her.

They went on the rapids altogether and all had a great time.

"That was so much fun" Lily said when they got to the bottom "can we go again?"

"Yeah can we it was so good" Emily added

Rachel laughed but agreed to go on again

After they went on the rapids they split up as Sadie and Emily wanted to go on some of the slides that Lily wasn't tall enough.

Usually Lily would get upset about this, but she didn't seem to mind this time because Rachel had let her go down the rapids.

Instead Rachel and Steve took Lily to the children's bit as they knew Sadie and Emily wouldn't want to go there anyway.

Emily was really enjoying spending time with just Sadie, the pair of them were starting to get really close.

"Sadie" Emily said sounding a bit nervous

"When did you… urmm… start to get a proper figure?"

"I can't really remember, it's not something that happens instantly though you don't just suddenly wake up one day and find you've grown a huge pair of boobs overnight" Sadie said laughing

"Yeah I know, but it's just loads of my friends have started to get really nice figures now but I'm still flat chested"

"I do know how that feels, I always felt like my friends were all developing way faster than me but you'll catch up I promise and then you'll realise you really had nothing to worry about"

"I wish I had a nice figure like you though"

"I don't think my figures that great, but thank you"

After a while Sadie and Emily met back up with Rachel, Steve and Lily and they decided to do some of the other slides.

They spend a few hours in the pool and after that they decided to get out.

By the time they were all changed they were allowed into their lodge so they went back to the car and drove to the car park near it.

After unloading the car they sorted out who was sleeping where.

In the end it ended up with Sadie and Emily in one bedroom; Lily in another and Rachel and Steve in one together.

Lily had wanted to share with one of the girls really, but Rachel knew that Lily needed to get proper night sleeps while they were away or she would be a pain in the butt.

Up until this point Lily had seemed to not be in a mood anymore, but since getting to the lodge she'd gone back to sulking and being generally awkward.

Rachel tried talking to Lily to see if there was something the matter, but Lily had said she just wanted to be left alone. Something that was very unlike Lily.

It took Rachel a couple of hours to get everything unpacked and put all the shopping away and by the time she'd done that she felt really tired.

Everyone was happy to stay in tonight so Rachel decided she would make a pasta bake.

Sadie and Emily had a film on that they were watching so Rachel went and sat with them.

"Do one of you fancy going to see if you can get Lily to come down" Rachel asked

"Yeah sure I'll try" Sadie said before going upstairs

When Sadie went upstairs Lily was sat in her bedroom doing some drawing on her bed, so Sadie went in and sat down by her.

"We've just started watching a film downstairs, do you want to come down and watch too?" Sadie asked

"No thank you"

"Why not?"

"Because I want to stay up here"

"Aren't you a bit lonely up here all on your own though?"

"No, I just want to be left alone"

"Okay then I'll leave you to it"

Sadie left and went back downstairs.

"She said she just wants to be left alone" Sadie told Rachel

Rachel was starting to get a bit worried about Lily now and was beginning to wonder what the problem was. She wanted to find out what was wrong, for Lily's sake more than anything, because she wanted to enjoy her time away and not be miserable about it.

A few minutes later Steve walked in, he'd just been out for a bike ride.

"Hiya love, did you have a nice bike ride?"

"Yeah it was great thanks"

"You'd better hurry up and get in the shower because dinner's going to be ready in about twenty minutes"

Steve went straight upstairs and got in the shower.

By the time he came down Rachel was taking the pasta bake out of the oven.

"Can you do me a favour and tell Lily it's ready please Steve?"

Steve went back upstairs to tell Lily.

Although Lily didn't really want to come downstairs, she was really hungry so she came down anyway.

Lily sat there and ate but she wasn't joining in with the conversation.

"Are you two looking forward to going to the spa tomorrow?" Rachel said to Sadie as she'd booked the two of them in for the afternoon

"Yeah I can't wait, it's going to be so good to just sit and do nothing"

"You deserve it, you've worked really hard at school this term"

"Can I come Mummy?" Lily asked

"I'm afraid you're not old enough love"

All of a sudden Lily got up and ran from the table and locked herself in her en suite bathroom.

By this point Rachel was really worried about her daughter, but she decided to give her a few minutes before going up to see her.

Rachel finished the last few mouthfuls of her pasta before excusing herself from the table.

She guessed Lily had gone to her room so went in there and saw the en suite door was locked.

"Lily, it's me can you come out?" Rachel said however there was no response from Lily

"Come on Lil I want to talk to you, I don't like seeing you upset"

Rachel tried for a few minutes but she couldn't seem to get Lily to come out so in the end she went and got a coin out of her purse to twist the lock.

She opened the door, and it broke her heart when she found Lily sat on the floor with her head in her hands and she was sobbing.

Rachel crouched down in front of Lily and hooked her finger under Lily's chin to try and bring her head up, but Lily was being really stubborn.

So in the end Rachel picked up her little girl. At first Lily tried to fight against it but in the end she relaxed against her Mum.

Rachel carried her through to the bedroom and sat with her on the bed.

As Rachel rubbed Lily's back she began to cry more and more becoming quite hysterical.

Rachel felt so sorry for her, she looked so young and vulnerable.

After a few minutes Lily had calmed down quite a bit, just letting out the occasional sob.

"Are you going to tell me what's happened to make you so upset?" Rachel asked moving Lily's hair out of her hot and sweaty face

Lily nodded her head before burying her head into Rachel's chest.

"You know you really have got me very worried, and I want to know what's happened so that I can help you"

"You won't be able to help, it's my fault"

"What's your fault?"

"I don't want to tell you"

"Come on love, please tell me I hate seeing you like this"

When Lily still didn't say anything Rachel said "I love you so so much Lily, I'm sure there's nothing you can say that we can't sort out"

"I just want things to be how they used to be" Lily practically whispered

"What do you mean love?"

"See I told you you wouldn't understand"

"Well I think I can see what you're getting at, I just want to know what you want it to go back to"

"When it was just you, me and Steve"

"How come? I thought you like having Sadie and Emily around"

"I did but now you always spend loads of time with them so you don't spend so much time with me when it's just the two of us" Lily cried

"Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry you feel like this. I know it must be hard for you when you're used to having me all to yourself. But just because Sadie and Emily are here too now it doesn't mean we have to stop doing all the things we used to. You might have to share me a bit more, but we can make sure we still find time to do stuff just the two of us"

"Really? We haven't done anything just us two for ages"

Rachel realised she was right, and although she'd still been doing things with Lily, Sadie and Emily or both of them had been there too.

"You're right and I'm sorry about that love. How about tomorrow morning then we do something just the two of us? We could go to the park down by the lake and go out for lunch" Rachel suggested

"Yeah and can I have one of those really nice hot chocolates that I had last time?"

"I would certainly think so"

Lily had a smile back on her face now which she was glad about.

"Mummy"

"Yes love"

"I'm sorry that I've been a bit moody today"

"That's alright love, I know now that you had your reasons. But next time just come and speak to me when you're feeling upset about something so can get it sorted sooner okay? Imagine if you hadn't told me and you stayed moody for the whole time, you wouldn't have had a very nice time away then would you?"

"No"

Rachel wrapped her arms around her daughter to give her a cuddle.

"Love you Mummy"

"I love you too darling, shall we go back downstairs?"

"Okay"

"I think we should wipe away those tears though first"

Rachel nipped into the en suite and grabbed some loo roll before going back to sort out Lily's face for her.

"Can you tell I've been crying Mummy?"

"No not really"

"So you can a bit"

"Well you're eyes look a bit red but I doubt anyone will notice"

"I don't want anyone to know I've been crying though"

"I wouldn't worry about it sweetheart, no-one's going to say anything"

Lily was about to get off the bed to walk downstairs but then Rachel stopped her.

"Lil, you're not unhappy with Sadie and Emily living with us now are you?"

"No I like having them around, it's only sometimes because I feel like I don't get to spend as much time with you alone, but I wouldn't want to change it because it feels like I have sisters now"

"Exactly love, just think a few months ago you were moaning that there were no other children in the house, but now you have Sadie and Emily to keep you company"

Lily and Rachel then went back downstairs where Steve was doing the last of the clearing up and Emily was on her ipad.

"Where's Sadie gone?" Rachel asked

"She just went upstairs" Steve replied "I think she said she wasn't feeling too great"

Rachel decided to go up and check on her.

When she went into Emily and Sadie's bedroom, she found Sadie lying on her bed.

"Are you okay love?" Rachel asked sounding concerned

"My stomach is absolutely killing"

"That's not very good, do you want me to get you some paracetamol?"

"Yes please"

Rachel nipped and got some before coming straight back.

Sadie sat up in bed to take the tablets.

"Rachel you know you had to pick me up in the end today, well it wasn't because I woke up late"

"Oh" Rachel said wondering why Sadie was telling her this now "how come you couldn't come home when you were meant to then?"

"I promised Hannah I wouldn't tell anyone, but I can't get hold of her and now I'm really worried"

"Well if you're worried something's happened to Hannah, maybe you should tell me what's going on"

"Okay but you have to promise not to tell anyone, and definitely not Hannah's Mum"

"I can't promise, but I won't say anything unless I think I really do need to"

"Okay well, at the party last night Hannah had unprotected sex so I went with her this morning so she could get the morning after pill"

"That can't have been very nice for Hannah, it was really nice of you to go with her though"

"She wasn't going to go because she was so embarrassed and ashamed of what she'd done, but I persuaded her that she needed to go. She was so upset when I left her though and now she's not answering any of my messages"

"Hannah probably just needs a bit of time to process what's happened, she might've turned her phone off or something"

"Yeah maybe"

"Did she not tell her Mum about it?"

"No, there's no way she would speak to her Mum about that kind of thing"

"Well it would be good if she could have her Mum to support her, but if she doesn't want to then I guess it's her choice. You've done everything you could do love, just give her some space and I'm sure she'll be absolutely fine"

"I hope so, it must be so horrible for her"

"Has anything like this ever happened to you before?" Rachel asked as Sadie had spoken about the whole thing with quite a bit of maturity so Rachel wondered about whether Sadie was sexually active or not

Sadie shook her head

"I'm still a virgin" Sadie admitted

"And I'd keep it that was for as long as I could if I were you, but if ever you do want to talk about this sort of thing then you know where I am. I don't want you to feel like Hannah, I mean I know I'm not your Mum but I am still here for you"

"Thanks Rachel" Sadie said smiling

"Anyway, do you fancy coming back downstairs?"

"Yeah okay, hopefully my stomach will get better now I've taken something"

"Hopefully, they should kick in soon and make you feel a bit better"

Sadie and Rachel went back downstairs and joined the others.

It wasn't too late yet so they decided to go for a drink.

"Am I still allowed to go even though it's past my bedtime?"

"As soon as we're on holiday, I don't think it will matter if you're a little bit late to bed love"

Everyone went to get their coats and then they walked down to the pub.

They had a nice evening but didn't stop there too late as Lily was starting to get tired.

As soon as they got back to their lodge Rachel got Lily into bed, glad that the happy, smiley Lily had returned.

Rachel stayed with Lily until she'd dropped off to sleep before going back down to join the others.

Rachel opened a bottle of wine and then put a film on for them all to watch.

The four of them ended up staying up quite late.

They hadn't even noticed how late it had got, they'd just all been chatting and having a nice time away.

Once they saw the time they all decided to go up to bed.

The next morning when Rachel woke up she looked at the time and saw it was nine.

Rachel hardly ever slept in but it had been nice, and she was pleasantly surprised that she hadn't been woken up by Lily yet.

When she got out of bed Rachel got straight in the shower.

Once she was ready she went downstairs where the others were all downstairs now but the three girls were still all in their pyjamas.

Rachel had been to the bakery yesterday and bought croissants and pain au chocolat so laid it out on the breakfast bar along with some fruit and stuff to go with the croissants.

"Breakfast's ready" Rachel said and they all came up and sat at the breakfast bar to eat.

After breakfast Rachel got Lily dressed and then the two of them started getting ready to go.

"What are you three going to do while we're gone then?"

"I think we're going to ride our bikes somewhere, aren't we girls?"

"Yeah" they both replied

"That will be nice, I think me and Lily are going to stop out for lunch but we'll aim to get to the spa for two so be back here by half 1 Sadie"

Rachel took Lily to the park and they ended up having a lovely time just the two of them. It was quite cold so luckily they'd dressed up warm.

After spending an hour in the park they went to a nearby café and had some lunch.

Rachel had a panini and Lily fish fingers, chips and beans.

After a nice morning they headed back to the lodge.

"I'm just going to go and take my makeup off, and then are you ready to head off love?" Rachel said to Sadie

"Yep, do I need to take my makeup off too?"

"It's better for your skin if you do when you're in the steam room and stuff, but you can take it off when we get there if you'd prefer"

"No I'll do it now" Sadie decided before following Rachel upstairs

Once the two of them were ready they headed off for the spa.

Sadie had never been to a spa before so she was really excited about it.

Once they'd signed in they headed to the changing rooms to get changed, Rachel into a black swimsuit and Sadie into a black bikini.

After they were changed they put their stuff into lockers before heading out.

"Are you thirsty, do you fancy a drink?"

"Yes please"

"Do you fancy a glass of bubbles?" Rachel asked

"Ooh yes please" Sadie replied smiling

Rachel got them a glass of bubbles each and then they headed to sit by the pool.

Once they'd had a drink they had a bit of a swim before going into all of the steam rooms and saunas.

Sadie knew Rachel had booked them into go to the spa but what she didn't know, was that Rachel had also booked them in for a treatment.

"Sadie I've got a bit of a surprise for you"

"Really, what?"

"I've booked us both into have a facial, do you fancy it?"

"Yes please, that sounds amazing. Thank you so much Rachel" Sadie said with a huge smile on her face

"That's okay darling"

They went for their facials and both came out feeling extremely relaxed.

Rachel had really enjoyed spending a bit of time with Sadie just the two of them. She'd been so proud of how far she'd come with everything and thought she deserved a treat.

After their afternoon at the spa they got changed back into their clothes before walking back to their lodge.

"How's your skin feeling now?"

"It feels so nice and soft"

"It's really glowing. You're lucky whenever I have a facial it brings out all of my spots and it takes a few days for them to clear up, but your skin looks really healthy already"

"I can't believe you let me have one, Mum never used to take me to do anything like this"

"I never used to do anything like this with my Mum either, but as soon as I was coming I thought you deserved to as well"

"Well thank you, I really enjoyed it"

"Me too love"

When they got back to the lodge Steve was cooking. They weren't going out again tonight as Rachel and Sadie wouldn't be able to put any makeup on after their facials.

"Smells lovely in here, what are we having?" Rachel asked as she walked through the door

"Risotto" Steve told her

"Sounds delicious, what have you three been up to this afternoon"

"We went swimming again Mummy"

"I thought that's where you'd probably end up" Rachel said smiling

They'd all really enjoyed the start of their week away and couldn't wait for the rest!


	6. Chapter 6

It was a Friday morning and the usual morning rush.

Trying to get three girls out of the house on time never was an easy task.

"Sadie, Emily you're going to miss your bus at this rate and I really don't have the time to be dropping you off this morning" Rachel called up the stairs

Finally, Sadie emerged and came running down the stairs.

She was about halfway down when she went running back up again.

"Where are you going? You need to leave"

"I've forgotten my netball stuff"

Rachel sighed, she felt as though she'd been rushing around all morning because things kept going wrong.

"Emily, come on you need to leave"

A few minutes later both girls were finally ready to leave.

"Have a good morning at school, and I'll see you this afternoon"

Waterloo Road was hosting a netball tournament against some of the local schools, and Emily and Sadie were both coming to take part.

They both said goodbye before leaving for school.

Once they'd gone Rachel went back into the kitchen where Lily was still eating her breakfast.

"Go up and brush your teeth love and then we need to leave"

Lily went upstairs so Rachel finished putting everything into Lily's pack lunch box before going to get her coat and shoes on.

Lily came back downstairs so once she had her coat and shoes on as well the two of them got into the car.

Once they got to Lily's primary school, they both got out of the car and Rachel walked Lily into school.

"Have a good day sweetheart, and have fun at Natasha's house"

Lily was going back to her friend's house after school as the netball tournament was going on until after school and Rachel was planning on staying until the end.

"Bye Mummy"

Lily had spotted one of her friends walking into her classroom just in front so quickly left Rachel to catch up with her.

Rachel watched until she had walked into her classroom and then went back to the car to drive to Waterloo Road.

Emily was in English with her friends. She was really excited about the netball tournament, especially as it meant she got to miss RE and maths, two of her least favourite subjects.

"Emily doesn't your sister work at Waterloo Road?" Poppy, one of Emily's friends, asked

"Yeah she's the head teacher there"

"Do you think it will be weird seeing her there?"

"Maybe a bit, I have been there with her before though"

"Girls, less chat and more work please" their English teacher said to them as they'd been very chatty this morning

"Sorry Miss"

"There's only about five minutes of the lesson left, so let's hear one of your poems please girls"

None of the girls were overly keen to read out what they'd written, but in the end Emily said she'd read out hers.

"Wow Emily, that's really good" the teacher said sounding genuinely impressed by what Emily had produced

The bell soon went signalling the start of break so the girls headed to the toilets before heading to the school canteen.

After break they only had one more lesson, geography, before they had to go to the PE department to get ready to leave for the tournament.

Geography passed quickly so it was soon time for Emily and her friends to head to the changing rooms to get changed.

The girls chatted in the changing rooms whilst getting changed.

It was soon time to get on the coach to go to Waterloo Road.

On the bus on the way there Emily heard some of the older girls talking about how one of the teachers at Waterloo Road used to be a prostitute.

"Did you know that Emily?" Poppy asked

"No, I wonder if I've met them, I've met quite a few of the teachers there"

All of the girls seemed to be gossiping about it on the bus. It didn't take long for Sadie to figure out that it was Rachel who used to be the prostitute.

She knew that Rachel had had a really hard time when she was growing up, but she never thought it was as bad as that.

When the bus pulled up in the Waterloo Road car park the girls all got off the bus where they were met by Mr Clarkson, who showed them the way to the netball courts.

Their PE teacher got them all to warm up and then the year sevens were playing in one of the first matches.

They didn't have set positions yet because they were only in year seven so they switched around. For the first match Emily was playing centre.

By the end of the match they were all really happy because they'd won their first match.

Emily and her friends asked their PE teacher if they could go to the loo.

Their PE teacher didn't know where they were but then she saw Rachel coming towards them so asked her where it was.

"I'll take you girls, oh hi Emily"

"Hi Rachel"

Rachel knew the other three girls as well because she'd met them all before when Emily had a sleepover a few weeks ago.

"You all played really well then, well done for winning your first match"

"Thank you"

Rachel showed them the way to the toilets and then left them to it.

When they came back from going to the toilet a couple of the girls that they didn't like very much came up too them.

"Emily is it true you're living with the head teacher of Waterloo Road?"

"Yes" Emily said not really wanting to get involved in a conversation with them

"Oh my God, I can't believe you're living with an ex-prostitute"

"No I'm not"

"Well you just said you live with the head teacher of Waterloo Road, and she used to be a prostitute so yes you are"

Emily looked around and saw a lot of the girls, from older years, as well were laughing so ran off feeling really embarrassed as she could tell she was about to burst into tears and didn't want to do it in front of them.

Sadie had just come off from playing a match and saw Emily run off crying so quickly pulled off her bib before running after her.

Emily went back to the toilets, and Sadie only caught up with her once she'd stopped running.

"Em, what's wrong?" Sadie asked noticing that Emily was crying

"Did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That Rachel used to be a… you know"

Sadie realised what it was that Emily was talking about.

"I found out on the way here"

"I can't believe Rachel never told us, it's so embarrassing"

When Sadie had found out she had been quite shocked, and obviously her friends had been asking her questions about it but it hadn't upset her nearly as much as it had Emily.

Emily's friends had been worried about her so when they saw Rachel they went and told her that Emily had run off crying.

"What was she crying about?"

The girls all felt too embarrassed to tell Rachel why she was upset so they said they didn't know.

"Do you know where she went?"

"She went inside, and Sadie followed her in too"

"Okay thanks girls"

Rachel headed inside the building feeling worried about why Emily was upset. She'd seemed really happy earlier when she was playing with her friends so didn't know what could've happened to change that.

She decided to check the toilets first, thinking this was the most obvious place that she would've gone.

When Rachel walked in and found Sadie hugging Emily.

Rachel rushed straight over and started rubbing Emily's arm.

"Em, what's wrong? What's happened?"

"I can't believe you didn't tell me"

"Didn't tell you what?"

"What you used to do" Emily said sounding angry

Emily felt a whole mixture of emotions but it was just all coming out as anger.

Rachel was confused at first but then figured what Emily was talking about.

She was used to people finding out now, but she did still always feel ashamed as it was a part of her past that she hated about herself.

"I'm sorry Em, honestly I am, I was going to tell you at some point I promise"

"I had to find out from people in my year, and now they're all laughing at me"

"No they're not Em" Sadie said

"Yes they were" Emily cried

"I'm sorry love, honestly I am but they'll soon all forget about it"

Emily didn't feel like talking to Rachel about it at the moment so when Rachel tried to wrap her arms around her she shrugged her off.

"I need to get back to play netball"

"We'll talk about it at home, later"

"Whatever" Emily said before walking out of the toilets

Rachel felt her eyes prickling with tears.

Whenever Rachel thought about her past it made her feel emotional, but knowing that it was making Emily upset was making it so much worse.

Sadie saw how upset Rachel was so wrapped her arms around her.

"She'll come around Rach, it's just a shock for her. I know she seems angry, but I think she's more upset than anything"

"There's no wonder, she's right I should've told you both before so you heard it from me rather than your friends. I'm really sorry Sadie"

"You don't need to apologise to me, I'm sure you had your reasons for… well doing what you did"

"We'll have a proper talk about it tonight yeah? I'll explain to both of you why I did it so that you can understand it a bit better I know it's a really big thing for you to take in"

"Okay, are you going to be okay?"

"Of course I am, you don't need to worry about me" Rachel said giving a weak smile

Sadie then left to get back to netball.

Rachel went up to her office for a little bit.

Although this being the subject of gossip was something Rachel had had to get used to, it was never going to be something that didn't bother her.

Rachel left her office to go and watch the rest of the tournament. She put on a brave face but really all she wanted to do was get home and have a proper talk with Emily and Sadie.

Emily joined in for the rest of the tournament however she was really quiet because she felt like everyone was judging her now.

At the end of the tournament Emily and Sadie went to find Rachel.

Their teacher had allowed them to leave with Rachel now rather than having to get the coach back to school.

None of them really spoke on the way to pick up Lily.

Rachel understood that Emily probably still needed time to take it in.

When they got back to the house Emily and Sadie went straight upstairs to have showers.

Rachel got changed out of her work clothes and then went and made a start on tea whilst Lily sat at the table doing some drawing.

She gave the girls a bit of time before deciding to go up to see them.

"I just need to go and chat to Emily, I'll be back soon love" Rachel said to Lily. She didn't say she was going to speak to both of them as she knew then Lily would want to come too

Rachel went upstairs and knocked on Emily's bedroom door.

"Come in"

Rachel opened the door and went in and saw Emily laying on her bed looking up at the celling.

She closed the door behind her and went and sat next to Emily on the bed.

Emily burst into tears as soon as Rachel sat down.

"I'm really sorry Rachel"

"Oh love what on earth have you got to be sorry for?"

"For shouting at you earlier"

"You don't need to say sorry for that, I get why you felt angry it was the worse place to find out about it wasn't it huh?"

"Yeah it was just such a big shock, I really wasn't expecting it"

"I know you weren't"

"I don't even know why I'm crying about it now" Emily said

"I think it's your hormones love, you're at an age where when things happen your feelings and emotions are stronger than normal and I know it can be really confusing"

Emily shuffled up closer to Rachel and cried into her chest for a bit.

"Anyway, should we go and find Sadie and we can have a proper chat about this?" Rachel suggested and Emily nodded

"I'll just go and get a tissue first"

"I'll get you some love"

Rachel went and got some toilet roll before coming back and mopping up Emily's tears.

"Come on then" Rachel said giving Emily's shoulder a supportive squeeze

The two of them went into Sadie's bedroom where she was sat doing some homework.

Rachel wasn't particularly looking forward to the conversation that she was about to have, and felt a bit nervous. She knew it needed to be done now, but she did feel that Emily was still a bit too young.

Rachel was just about to close Sadie's bedroom door as this definitely wasn't the sort of thing she wanted Lily to overhear, however just as she did Lily came across the landing.

"Mummy you've been ages, you said you were coming back"

"I know sorry love, I won't be too much longer. Do you think you could do a little job for me?"

"Yes"

"You know Kim from my school, well she's just found out that she's going to be having a baby boy so do you think you could draw her a picture?"

"Yes and I'll put some of those new stickers on that we bought at the weekend"

"That sounds like a good idea"

Lily rushed back downstairs excitedly to do the picture, so Rachel closed the door before going and sitting on the bed in the middle of Sadie and Emily.

"I'm sure you girls both have lots of questions so I'm going to try my best to answer them. This is a part of my past that I feel incredibly embarrassed and ashamed about"

"You don't have to tell us Rachel if you don't want to"

"It's okay love, I want you to understand" Rachel said placing her hand on Sadie's knee

"Well, when I was 17 things were very bad at home. My Dad used to abuse me and I used to feel like I had no-one to talk to about it because well, because my Dad used to abuse our Mum too and had been doing it for years which had put her in a really bad way so she was never really there for me"

Rachel was struggling with how to put this, as obviously Emily had no idea about what their Mum used to be like. She'd clearly managed to escape the abuse and completely turn her life around.

Rachel glanced at Emily and could see she was shaken up by what she'd just heard, so she took hold of Emily's hand.

"So when I was made the offer of making £1,000 a week I saw it as my opportunity to escape and that's how I first got into prostitution" Rachel said

Emily and Rachel were both in tears by this point, and Sadie wasn't far behind. It was horrible to hear what Rachel had been through.

"I spent two years doing it, it was the worse time of my life. But when my pimp got caught, I got given the opportunity to create a new identity, get an education and start my life again"

"So you didn't used to be called Rachel?" Sadie asked

"No I used to be called Amanda"

"Did Mum know you'd changed your name?"

"Yes, I wrote her a letter one day and explained everything. She wrote back and said how she'd left my Dad and was so sorry for being a bad Mum. She wanted to get back in contact, but I told her that I didn't want open up the past and she respected my decision and I didn't hear from her again"

Tears were rolling freely down Rachel's cheeks. She wished now that she had got to know her Mum again, and Emily sooner but she knew there was no point dwelling on the past too much.

The girls hated seeing Rachel so upset, and were both leaning against her as she stroked their hair.

The three of them talked for a bit longer.

Rachel was glad she'd told them both now and hoped that they would still respect her now despite knowing.

"I don't want you two to ever feel like there's no-one you can talk to. There were so many people I could've turned to, a teacher or a doctor, but I was scared and embarrassed so instead I made the worst choice I could've made. No matter how bad something seems, just come and talk to me about it and I'm sure we can sort it"

Rachel knew by this point her face must look a mess so she decided to go and sort it out before going to check on Lily.

As she walked out of Sadie's bedroom Steve came up the stairs having just got back from work.

"Rach are you okay?" Steve asked noticing Rachel's tearstained face

Rachel nodded but she couldn't help her eyes welling up with tears again.

Steve pulled her into a warm embrace and held her whilst she cried a bit.

"What's happened Rach?"

"I've just told the girls about… about what I used to do. They found out at the tournament today and I knew they deserved the truth"

Rachel had talked about her past a lot with Steve. He'd been so supportive of her and that was one of the things she loved about him.

Rachel composed herself eventually and went to take off her makeup and wash her face. She then went downstairs and finished making tea.

Emily and Sadie had both taken in what Rachel had said and actually both had more respect for Rachel than they had before knowing the horrible life that she'd had.

Rachel telling them had made the three of them closer than ever.


	7. Chapter 7

It was the last Thursday before the Easter holidays began and Rachel and the girls were all looking forward to the break lots.

Rachel called the girls down for breakfast however she got a bit of a shock when she saw Emily's face.

Emily appeared to be wearing foundation but she hadn't done a very good job of it at all and her face just looked orange and cakey.

"Quick word outside love" Rachel said as she touched Emily's arm

Lily was in the kitchen too and Rachel knew Emily wouldn't want her to say anything with her there as well.

Emily followed Rachel out into the hallway wondering what it was she was going to say.

"I think we ought to sort that foundation out before you go to school love"

"Oh" Emily said feeling embarrassed that Rachel had noticed she had makeup on "does it look really bad?"

"Well you haven't blended it in too well" Rachel said choosing her words carefully "you don't normally wear foundation do you?"

"No but Sadie let me borrow hers"

"Why did you ask her for it?"

"Just because I wanted to"

"Right, well have your breakfast and then I'll help you sort it out a bit shall we?"

"Okay thank you Rachel" Emily said before going back into the kitchen and sitting at the table with Lily to have some breakfast

Sadie still hadn't come downstairs so Rachel decided to go up to see what she was doing.

Rachel knocked on Sadie's door but didn't bother waiting for a reply. When she walked in she was surprised to see that Sadie hadn't even got out of bed yet.

"What on earth are you still doing in bed? You need to leave in less than twenty minutes"

"I don't think I'm going to be able to go to school today Rachel"

"And why would that be?"

"I'm not feeling well"

"What's up with you?"

"It's you know… time of the month"

Rachel looked at her a bit suspiciously, it couldn't have been more than two weeks since Rachel last let her stay off because she had bad period pains.

"That's funny, you were only on like two weeks ago"

"Yeah but I came on again last night, you know I'm not exactly regular"

Rachel knew that Sadie did suffer with period pains really badly but she couldn't help but not believe her.

"Well you don't seem too bad to me, I'm sure you'll cope"

"How do you know how much pain I'm in?"

"Just give school a go and if you really don't feel well give me a ring and I'll come and pick you up, now come on up"

Sadie knew that she was going to have a hard job getting Rachel to change her mind so in the end got out of bed.

As soon as she was out of bed she walked past Rachel and gave her a glare before heading to the bathroom.

"Just think one more day and you've got a whole two weeks off" Rachel called after her but got no reply

Rachel made Sadie's bed for her before going back downstairs.

When she got down both girls had finished their cereal so once they'd put their bowls in the dishwasher Rachel went upstairs with Emily.

"Come into my room sweetheart, shall we just take that foundation off?"

"No I don't want to take it off" Emily said as she sat down on Rachel's bed

Rachel sighed, wondering why Emily suddenly felt the need to be wearing foundation.

Rachel went into her en suite to get come makeup wipes but when she came back out she saw Emily looking very tearful but clearly trying her best not to cry.

Rachel went and sat on the bed next to her.

"What's up sweetheart?"

"Why do I have to have such horrible skin?"

"You haven't got horrible skin, yeah you might have a few spots at the minute but that's why we got you that stuff from Boots to help"

"But it's making it worse"

Rachel got a makeup wipe and took off the foundation Emily put on.

Once she'd taken it off Rachel did notice how red and irritated Emily's skin on, so realised her skin couldn't have reacted to the new face stuff Emily had.

"I'd say your skin is a bit sensitive, and doesn't like what you've been using on your face"

"My face is sensitive, I can't wear face paint or anything like that on it"

"I have sensitive skin too, it just means that you might end up having to get more expensive creams and makeup like I do. So if you use my stuff for the next few days and if it helps your skin I'll buy you some of your own"

"But it's really expensive so I don't want to waste it"

"It's hardly wasting it, and I know it's expensive but it does last for quite a while"

Rachel too Emily through to her en suite and showed her what to do.

"I was going to put a little bit of makeup on for you, but we haven't really got time now or you're going to miss your bus. Your skin really doesn't look that bad love, it's only because it's your own face so it seems so much more worse but I doubt anyone else will really notice"

"My friends already have"

"They weren't horrible about it were they?"

"No, they just said it looked a bit sore"

"Well it does, and wearing makeup isn't going to help to clear it up, it will only cover it up"

"It looks so bad though"

Rachel could tell how self-conscious Emily was feeling but this was to be expected with Emily being the age she was.

"I know your skin is playing up a bit, but I promise it doesn't look that bad. And hopefully within a few days we can get it cleared up. Just try not to think about it"

Emily didn't want to go to school with her face looking the way it was but knew she didn't really have a choice so went and finished packing her bag before waiting in the hallway for Sadie to come down.

Sadie eventually came down so the two girls said goodbye to Rachel before leaving to go to school.

"Emily I'm really not feeling very well, I feel like I'm going to be sick"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think I'm just going to head back to the house and tell Rachel so I can have a day off" Sadie said as she really couldn't face going into school today

"Okay, I hope you feel better soon"

"Me too, have a good day at school"

Sadie pretended to walk away but Sadie waited a bit before carrying on walking away from the house.

She knew she needed to get away quickly as Rachel would be leaving the house soon.

In the end Sadie ended up walking the station before catching a train into town, thinking she'd be less likely to be seen by anyone she knew.

As soon as she got off the train Sadie walked towards the shops and went straight to the toilets.

She'd already taken her tie off but she wanted to change out of the rest of her uniform.

Sadie was starting to get a bit worried now about the trouble she was going to get into.

She knew her Dad and Rachel would be angry, just like her teachers were going to be but there was no way she could face everyone at school today after yesterday.

By the time it got to lunchtime Sadie was starting to get a bit bored of being in the middle of Manchester on her own.

So she went and picked up a sandwich before heading back to the train station to go home.

She figured no-one would be at home so decided to just go back to the house.

Rachel was in her office packing up her things as she had to leave early today to go and watch Lily's assembly, as it was her class's turn to do it.

Just as she was about to walk out of the office her phone started ringing, so Rachel put down her stuff and got it out of her handbag.

Rachel didn't recognise the number but when she picked up she realised that it was Sadie's head of year telling her that Sadie hadn't turned up for school today.

At first Rachel felt really angry with Sadie for not going to school, but then she also started to feel a bit worried as she had no idea where she would be.

After ringing Sadie and getting no reply, she tried the home phone to see if Sadie was there but there was no reply again.

There wasn't really much she could do about it now though as she really did need to get to Lily's assembly and not be late.

Rachel drove to Lily's primary school and went into the school hall. She sat down next to one of her friends and had a good catch up.

It wasn't long before the children all started filing into the hall.

As soon as Lily saw Rachel she immediately ran up to her Mum and wrapped her arms around her.

"Hey love" Rachel said wondering why she'd come up to her

"Mummy I don't want to do it"

"How come love? You've been practising for this for ages"

Much to Rachel's surprise Lily then burst into tears so Rachel took hold of her hand and went outside.

"Why do you not want to do the assembly sweetheart?"

"I just don't want to"

Rachel didn't know why Lily had suddenly turned so shy. Normally with things like this Lily loved doing it, her face at the end when all the parents clapped had always been priceless.

"Please Mummy, don't make me do it"

"Tell me why you don't want to do it"

"I just don't"

"I know sometimes speaking in front of lots of people can be a bit scary but you've done it before and you always do such an amazing job. I've been really looking forward to watching you"

"Okay then, I suppose I could try" Lily said. She really didn't want to do the assembly but she didn't want to let her Mum down either.

Lily's teacher had just come out of the hall to see if Lily was okay, so she took Lily back into sit with her class.

Rachel went and sat back down, but she was starting to feel a bit mean for making Lily do something she didn't want to. But she was sure once she'd done it she'd be glad she had.

When it came to Lily's turn to speak, she did it but she was extremely shy and Rachel couldn't help but notice how she kept glancing at a couple of the girls in her class.

Throughout the whole thing Lily looked really upset and scared, so Rachel decided to have a little word with her later on to see if there was anything going on.

After the assembly Rachel went into the playground to wait for Lily to come out, as the children had to go back to the classroom to get all of their stuff.

When Lily came out she had a big bag filled with loads of work that she'd done over the last term.

"Are you ready to get going then love?"

"Yes let's go" Lily said already walking

The two of them went back to the house, and when Rachel realised that Sadie wasn't there she did start to feel really quite worried about where Sadie could've gone.

She tried ringing Sadie again but still there was no reply.

Rachel sighed before going and getting a snack and a drink for Lily and then bringing it into the lounge for her.

Rachel sat down with Lily for a bit and watched some TV. Lily seemed quite relaxed at the minute so Rachel decided now would be a good time to have a quick chat with her.

"Is school going okay at the minute love?" Rachel asked

"Yes why?" Lily replied with her eyes still fixed on the TV

"I'm just wondering. And you're sure there's nothing bothering you because you know you can tell me if there is"

"I'm sure"

"Well remember what we talked about, I'll always have time for you if you do need a chat about something or even just a cuddle"

"Can I have a cuddle now?"

"Of course you can"

Lily snuggled up against her Mum.

Rachel was still a bit worried about Lily but knew there was no point in trying to force her into telling her what was wrong.

A few minutes later the front door opened.

Emily was going to a friend's house for a sleepover straight from school so Rachel presumed it must be Sadie.

"Sadie is that you?"

"Yeah" Sadie said before slipping her shoes off and coming into the lounge. She's put her school uniform back on to make it look as though she'd just got in from school

Rachel frowned a little when she saw Sadie was wearing her uniform but decided not to say anything about her not going to school yet.

"Good day at school?"

"Not too bad thanks, I'm just going to go and get changed out of my uniform"

"Okay"

Rachel felt so angry at Sadie for lying to her, and knew she needed a bit of time to cool off before speaking to Sadie about it because at the minute she was likely to fly off the handle when she was feeling the way she was.

After about an hour Rachel decided to go and speak to Sadie. She was still feeling angry about it, but she was considerably calmer now.

Rachel was just passing the bathroom when she heard Lily shouting to her.

"Mummy please can you close the door?" Lily asked as she'd been so desperate before she hadn't had chance to close the door

Rachel closed the door for Lily before making her way to Sadie's room.

Rachel knocked once but walked straight in.

Sadie looked up at Rachel and smiled.

"Right, I'm going to get straight to the point why did you not go to school today?"

Sadie sighed realising she was in a lot of trouble because Rachel had found out.

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry doesn't quite cut it. Do you think it's acceptable to just not turn up to school because you don't feel like it and then lie to my face and try to make me think that you did go"

"I just couldn't go in today Rach"

"Why?"

"I don't want to say"

"Fine but you're only making things worse for yourself. If you're not going to tell me then you can wait until your Dad gets home from work and then tell him"

"No you can't tell Dad, please Rach he'll be so mad"

"Just like I am, I'm afraid I don't have a choice Sadie. Your Dad's obviously going to want to know about this"

"Please don't, I'm begging you"

"This isn't up for debate Sadie" Rachel said before leaving the room

As soon as Rachel left Sadie burst into tears. The last thing she wanted was to be in trouble with Rachel just to top things off.

Sadie stayed in her room until she was called down for dinner.

"I think we need words after dinner, don't we young lady" Steve said sounding quite strict

Sadie just nodded before going to sit at the table.

When Rachel put her food down in front of her she could see that Sadie had been crying, but she wasn't about to go soft on her just because of that.

As soon as they'd all finished eating and had cleared up Steve took Sadie into the front room to have a word.

Lily followed them in.

"Lil, I need a quick word with Sadie can you go and find Mummy for a bit?"

Steve had a bit of a go at Sadie, making her feel worse, but there was no way Sadie was telling him the reason that she didn't go into school today.

"Can I go now?"

"Yep, but don't think you've got away with this young lady I'll be thinking of a suitable punishment tonight"

"Fine" Sadie said before getting up to leave, as she didn't want to cry in front of her Dad

Rachel passed Sadie as she was coming up the stairs and saw the tears falling from her eyes so followed Sadie into her room.

"What's wrong Sadie? There's no point in turning on the waterworks just because you're in trouble"

"I'm not crying because of that"

"Well tell me what's wrong then"

"I'm just so stupid, I'm always doing things that I shouldn't but I just don't think when I'm… well drunk"

Rachel closed the door and went and sat down next to Sadie and put her arm around her, she was being considerably softer with her now"

"What do you mean?"

"You'll be so ashamed of me if I tell you"

"I'm sure it really can't be that bad"

"It is"

"We've all done things we regret, you know I certainly have a past that I'm not proud of but I can't help you unless you tell me what's going on"

In the end Sadie decided to tell Rachel, because she always did feel better after sharing her problems with Rachel.

"Well I'd been talking to this boy for a while and I really liked him and then he asked me to send him photos and I said no but then at a party a few weeks ago I'd had too much to drink and I ended up sending him some, but now he's sent them to his friends so they're going round the whole school. I just feel so embarrassed and I couldn't face going into school today and seeing everyone"

Rachel stroked her arm while she had a little cry.

"Making mistakes like this is all part of growing up. Obviously sending the photos wasn't a very good idea, but that's the thing when you're drinking you become so careless but then have to pay the consequences the next day. I know you're not the first girl that's done like this and you won't be the last either, so the best advice I can give you is to forget about it and try not to do anything like it again"

"But everyone's going to be talking about it at school"

"Well it's the Easter holidays now and you never know by the time you go back to school it might have been all forgotten about, and if it isn't you'll just have to face whatever people have to say for a bit but they'll soon move onto the next bit of gossip"

"I guess, I wish I could turn back time and not send them"

"The amount of times that thought has crossed my mind" Rachel said laughing "anyway your Dad's probably still going to want to punish you but I'll make sure he's not too strict don't worry. Are you feeling any better now?"

"Kind of, I'm just going to forget about it for now and try to enjoy the holidays and hope it all blows over"

"Good girl"

Sadie felt a lot better after talking to Rachel and came downstairs and had a nice evening with her and her Dad.


	8. Chapter 8

The girls had been back at school for a couple of weeks now, and whilst Sadie and Emily had slotted right back into routine Rachel seemed to be having problems with getting Lily to go in each day and she wasn't her usual self around the house either.

Trying to get Lily into school this morning had been particularly bad, and had left Rachel in tears as well.

There was nothing Rachel hated more than seeing her daughter upset and she was starting to get really worried about what was bothering Lily so much.

All day at work Rachel was struggling to concentrate and couldn't stop thinking about Lily, she was determined to get to the bottom of whatever it was bothering her.

She was relieved when it was finally the end of the day and quickly packed all her things up before going to pick up Lily.

When she was waiting in the playground for Lily she was chatting to some of the other Mums when Mrs Miller started making her way towards Rachel.

"Rachel would I be able to have a quick word inside please?"

"Yes of course"

Rachel followed Mrs Miller into the classroom, there were no children left inside so Rachel wondered where Lily was.

"I've just sent Lily to the office to do a little job for me, because I wanted to speak to you while she wasn't around"

"Right" Rachel said sounding quite worried

"I don't know how she's been at home, but at school she's been extremely quiet and distant and she doesn't seem to be interacting with any of the other children at all which is very unlike Lily"

"She hasn't been herself at home either, but I can't get out of her what's bothering her"

"Well maybe see how she is over the weekend and if she's still not any better next week maybe we'll have to sit down together with Lily and see if we can find out what's going on"

"Yeah, I wish she would tell me what it is I hate seeing her so upset"

"Me too, I'm used to Lily being so happy and bubbly this really isn't like her"

They were still talking when Lily came back into the classroom.

"Hiya Lil, are you ready to get going?"

Lily nodded before going into the cloakroom to get her bags and then coming straight back out.

Rachel took hold of Lily's hand whilst they walked back to the car.

"Mummy why were you in my classroom when I came back from the office?"

"I was just waiting for you, Mrs Miller came out and told me where you'd gone and said I could wait inside"

By the time they got home Sadie and Emily were back too so Rachel went up to see the girls while Lily got changed out of her school uniform.

Emily was in her room packing her stuff as she had her friend's Birthday sleepover tonight.

She'd been really looking forward to it all week, but now she really wasn't feeling great. Her stomach seemed to be hurting, and she'd been really teary all day too.

Rachel knocked on Emily's bedroom door.

"Come in"

"Hiya love, how was your day?"

"It was okay thanks, how was your day?"

"Good, glad it's the weekend though. Are you packing for your sleepover?"

"Yeah, I don't really feel very well though"

Rachel came straight over and put her arm around her, and when she did Emily couldn't help but burst into tears.

"Oh dear love, how don't you feel very well"

"My stomach hurts and so does my head"

"Do you want to give your sleepover a miss tonight?"

"No I really want to go"

"Well I'll get you some paracetamol and a hot water bottle, so if you just sit down for an hour before I have to drop you over and hopefully you'll feel a bit better"

"Okay thanks Rachel"

Rachel got her sorted with a hot water bottle and tablets and got her comfortable on the sofa. Emily was addicted to Gossip Girl at the minute so Rachel put it on the TV for her and sat down and watched a bit with her.

Lily came in too and snuggled up on Rachel's lap.

She wasn't sure it was the sort of thing Lily should be watched but Lily started playing on Rachel's iPad so she wasn't really watching it.

Suddenly Sadie appeared in the lounge.

"Rach could I maybe have a couple of friend round tonight?"

"I don't think that should be a problem"

"Thanks, Amy's been a bit upset at school today so we're going to try and cheer her up a bit"

"Is she okay?"

"I don't think she's very happy at home at the minute, her parents aren't getting on at all"

"Well she knows she's always welcome over here"

Amy had been round quite a lot recently and Sadie and had got really close to her since starting at her new school.

"Who else is coming?"

"Georgia and Hannah"

"Okay that's fine, what do you want for tea?"

"Can we just have some pizzas or something?"

"Yep, I'm going to Tesco after I've dropped Emily off at her sleepover so I can pick anything up you want"

"I'll come with you"

"You don't have to if you don't want to"

"No I want to"

It was soon time to leave to drop Emily off at her sleepover.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Not great, but I still want to go though"

"Are you sure? I know you've been looking forward to it but there will be others"

"I'm sure"

"Come on then let's go"

Emily went upstairs to get her stuff and once they all had their shoes on they went out to the car.

Emily was beginning to think that maybe she should just stay home because she wasn't feeling herself at all but she really did want to go so did.

"Bye love, have a good time. What time do you want picking up in the morning?"

"About 11 please"

"Okay well just text me or something"

"Will do, bye"

"Bye darling"

Rachel waited until the front door opened and she went inside before driving off and going to Tesco.

With Sadie and Lily there Rachel ended up spending more money than she'd planned on.

By the time they'd got back Steve was home and was in the lounge watching TV, but he came out and helped bring the shopping in.

Emily was beginning to really regret going to her sleepover. She was in quite a lot of pain and she just wanted to be curled up on the sofa watching TV.

"I'm just going to the loo" Emily said to her friends

Emily went into the bathroom however when she sat down she had a big shock when she noticed there was blood all over her knickers. She immediately burst into tears as this wasn't something she was expecting as she thought she'd be older.

She was feeling really shaken up and didn't know what to do, being at her friend's house wasn't helping so now she wished that she'd not come more than ever.

Emily hadn't realised how long she'd been in the bathroom for until one of her friends knocked on the door.

"Emily, are you okay in there you've been ages?"

"Yeah I'll just be a sec"

Emily tried to wipe away her tears the best she could but you could still tell she'd been crying.

She didn't feel she could tell her friends that she'd started her periods.

One of the other girls there had already started, but she didn't feel like she could say when there was so many of them there.

She thought the best thing to do was to go home as she knew she'd be worrying all night if she stayed there, and just wanted Rachel to help her.

"Are you sure you're okay Emily?" one of her friends asked when she came out

"I'm actually not feeling very well, I think I may ring Rachel and ask her to pick me up"

"Are you sure you don't want to stay? If I ask my Mum she'll get you some medicine"

"No I just want to go home"

Emily rang Rachel who said she'd come as quickly as she could.

The girls had changed into their pyjamas so Emily got her clothes out of her bag so she could get back into them.

"I'm just going to go and get changed"

"Why can't you just change here?" one of the girls asked as ordinarily Emily wouldn't have been fussed about getting changed in front of them

"Because I don't want to" Emily snapped before walking out

Emily was relieved when Rachel knocked on the front door. She'd had to get a taxi as she'd had a fair bit of wine and knew it wouldn't have been a good idea to drive.

Emily came straight down.

"Are you still not feeling very well?"

Emily shook her head.

"Let's get you home and sorted then"

They said goodbye before walking up the drive to where the taxi was waiting.

"Is it still your stomach and head that's hurting?"

"Just my stomach really"

Emily knew that now would be the perfect time to tell Rachel when it was just the two of them, but now it had come to it she couldn't make the words come out of her mouth as she was feeling quite embarrassed about it.

When they got in Emily said she wanted to go straight up to bed so Rachel went up with her.

Emily got some clean pyjamas out of her drawer as she'd leaked onto the other pair she'd packed.

"Why don't you wear the pair you took to your sleepover?"

"I forgot to pack pyjamas"

"Oh right"

"I'm just going to go and get changed"

Emily could feel the tears forming in her eyes as she walked out as she hated this so much.

While Emily was gone Rachel decided to unpack her bag for her and was surprised when she came across her pyjamas, however things became a lot clearer when Rachel saw the blood.

Rachel sighed feeling quite sorry for Emily and feeling a bit upset Emily hadn't felt she could talk to her about this. Rachel and Emily were close now and Emily talked to her about lots of stuff, but Rachel could understand just how big a thing this was for Emily which was why she wanted to show Emily that she was there for her.

Rachel put the pyjamas back in the bag for now knowing Emily would panic otherwise when she came back into the room and knew that Rachel knew.

When Emily did come back into her bedroom Rachel didn't say anything but patted the bed gesturing for Emily to come and sit down next to her.

Rachel was a bit unsure of how to start this conversation but knew it did need to be done.

"Em is there something going on you want to tell me about?"

Emily wanted to tell Rachel about her period so much but she just couldn't say it no matter how hard she tried so she just shook her head.

"Sweetheart, have you started your periods"

Emily nodded her head but she felt embarrassed so just leant against Rachel as tears fell down her cheeks.

"Oh love you really could have told me about it, but I do understand that it can be a bit embarrassing"

"I really wanted to tell you, I just couldn't"

"Well at least I know now huh? Did it start when you were at your sleepover?"

"Yes that's why I wanted to come home"

"It can't have been very nice, and I know at the minute it probably seems really scary but it's only because it's new once you get used to them they really don't seem so bad. Never pleasant I'm afraid, but it's just something you'll learn to get on with"

"Now should we get you sorted with some pads?"

"Yes please, I looked for some in the bathroom but I couldn't find any"

"There should be some in there, unless Sadie's used them all. I'll have a look and if not I'll get you a pack from my bathroom"

Rachel looked but couldn't find any so got some from her en suite.

"Are you happy with how to put it on?"

"Yep"

"Okay, well you get yourself sorted and then do you still want to go to bed or do you want to come down for a bit with me and Steve?"

"I'll come down for a bit"

"Okay love, and if you've got any questions or there's something you want to talk about just come and find me yeah? Talking will make things a lot easier"

"Okay thanks Rachel"

"It's really no problem love"

Rachel left her to get sorted. She went and checked on Sadie and her friends.

Amy seemed a lot happier now. She'd been quite upset earlier but Rachel was pleased to see her laughing and smiling again now.

Emily didn't stay down for too long as she was quite tired.

Rachel and Steve watched TV for the rest of the evening but didn't stay up too late themselves.

Lily woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't believe it when she felt her wet bed sheets.

It had been so long since she'd had an accident so she felt really embarrassed about it and didn't want anyone to find out.

Lily took the sheets off and put it into the washing basket as she didn't know what else she could do. She was going to find another one in the airing cupboard but she heard someone coming so quickly ran back to bed even though she was still wearing her wet pyjama bottoms.

Rachel had heard someone moving about on the landing so came to see what was going on.

She followed Lily into her bedroom and immediately went to straighten her quilt.

"How come your sheets not on your bed love?"

Lily burst into tears and faced away from Rachel.

Rachel sat down on the bed and picked Lily up to put her on her lap, however when she did she realised what was going on.

"Have you had a bit of an accident?"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to"

"Of course you didn't love, but it really doesn't matter sometimes it happens when you're a little girl doesn't it?"

"But it hasn't happened for ages"

"I'm not cross though sweetheart and I'm not going to tell anyone so it doesn't matter does it?"

"I guess not"

"Let's get you out of these wet pyjamas though, you must be uncomfortable"

Lily let Rachel give her a quick wash and change into fresh pyjamas. Rachel then put a clean sheet on Lily's bed.

"Do you fancy coming downstairs for a bit with me?"

"Okay"

She didn't know why her Mum wasn't making her go back to bed, but she didn't mind as she wasn't having very nice sleeps at the minute and would quite often end up having a nightmare.

Rachel took her hand and lead her downstairs and put the light on in the lounge before sitting down.

Lily sat on her Mum's lap.

"Lily you know that you can tell me absolutely anything don't you? Even if you think you'll be in trouble, or you're going to make me angry or upset it doesn't matter, what does matter is that you tell me whenever you're feeling upset so that I can do my best to help you"

"There's nothing wrong Mummy"

"See I don't think you're telling the truth, and I don't think I'd be being a very good Mum if I hadn't picked up on how much you've changed recently"

"How?"

"Well you're ever so quiet love, and very cuddly not that I'm complaining you know I love giving you a cuddle but normally you only really want one when you're tired or a bit upset. So what is it that you're about love?"

"It's just…" Lily said but then she stopped

"It's just what?"

"I don't want to say"

"Come on Lil, please tell me. I'm your Mum you should be able to tell me anything"

"It's school"

"What about school?"

"My… my friends aren't being very nice to me" Lily blurted out but it was really hard for her to say

"How aren't they being very nice to you?"

"Well they make me do things that I don't want to and when I say no they're really horrible and they call my names and the other day Chloe even pulled my skirt down in the middle of the playground so everyone saw"

Lily was in tears by this point so Rachel pulled her into her chest and let her have a good cry.

"What sort of things do they try to make you do?"

"Urmm well on Wednesday they tried to make me take some of the cupcakes that Holly had brought in because it was her Birthday but I said no because I knew I'd get into trouble so then they hid my PE shorts and I had to borrow some from school but they're all horrible and big and everyone was laughing"

Rachel felt so sad hearing all of this, and wished Lily had told her sooner so that she could make it stop.

"We're going to be putting a stop to all of this don't you worry love"

"How?"

"On Monday morning I'm going to go in and speak to Mrs Miller and make sure that she puts a stop to it and tells the girls off for what they've been doing"

"No that will just make it worse"

"No it won't, the reason they're still being horrible to you is because they haven't been caught. As soon as they've got into trouble for it they'll soon stop believe me"

"I really want them to stop because I used to like school but I don't anymore"

"They will love, and then I think you need to start playing with different people because I know you said they're your friends but friends don't do that to each other. You're a lovely girl and I reckon there's lots of nice girls and boys in your class that will want to be friends with you that won't be horrible"

"But everyone wants to be friends with Chloe"

"I don't know why, she sounds horrible to me"

"Everyone thinks she's really nice"

"Well she clearly isn't"

Rachel and Lily stayed talking for quite a while and Rachel did manage to make Lily stop crying and feel a bit better.

"We can talk more about it tomorrow, but I think you need to go back to sleep now don't you?"

"Please can I sleep in with you and Steve tonight Mummy?"

"Just this once, but you're back to your own bed tomorrow okay?"

Rachel and Lily went back up to bed. Rachel was relieved that she knew what the problem was now and hoped that she would be able to get it sorted and have her daughter feeling happy again.


	9. Chapter 9

It was a Saturday and Rachel and Sadie were shopping to try and find a dress for Sadie's prom.

They'd tried on loads and although she'd found a few that were quite nice, none of them seemed quite right.

They were in a shop and had already tried on quite a few there, but when Sadie put on the next one she immediately fell in love with it and knew it was the one she wanted to wear.

Sadie stepped outside of the changing room to show Rachel.

The lady in the shop did the corset up for her.

Rachel couldn't help herself welling up a bit when she saw Sadie. She just looked so beautiful and grown up in the dress.

"Do you like it?" Sadie asked

"Do I like it? I absolutely love it, you look absolutely beautiful darling"

"This is definitely my favourite one so far"

"Mine too, you look amazing"

"I think this is the one I want"

"It's a lovely dress, isn't it?" the shop owner said

"Yeah, gorgeous" Rachel replied to her

Rachel undid the dress for Sadie and then Sadie went back into the changing rooms to get changed.

"Your daughter looked absolutely gorgeous, has she got a ball coming up?" one of the other women in the changing room said

"Yes her school prom, she's actually my boyfriend's daughter though"

"Well she looked lovely in the dress"

Rachel continued to chat to the lady until Sadie came out and then they went to pay for the dress.

"I'm knackered" Sadie said when they got out of the shop

"Me too, shall we go to Costa?"

"Yeah"

The two of them went into Costa and ordered before finding a seat.

They were sat in there having a drink and a bun each but Rachel had noticed that Sadie had gone unusually quiet.

"Are you okay love, you seem a bit quiet?"

"Yeah fine"

"You seem like you've got something on your mind"

"I was just thinking about how different things would be if I was still over in Newcastle, I was such good friends with this one boy and we were meant to be going to prom together. I'm really looking forward to going my new friends from here, but I had been really excited about going with him too"

"I see. Well I know coming here has changed a lot of things for you but you've settled in so well and I'm sure you're still going to have an amazing night going with the girls"

"Yeah I'm sure I will"

"Are you thinking about your Mum too? Do you wish it was her dress shopping with you?"

"No not at all, I'd probably have gone with my friends if I was still in Newcastle, I'm much happier that I got to choose it with you"

Rachel knew Sadie could've just been saying that to make Rachel happy, but she did sound quite genuine.

"I wonder how much longer Emily's going to be"

"Hopefully not too much longer"

Rachel had brought Emily and one of her friends with them and they were off shopping.

Rachel rang Emily and she asked for another hour so they to find some shoes to go with Sadie's dress and then some new underwear to wear under dress.

By the time they'd done all of that it was time to meet Emily back at the car so they headed there.

"Did you find a dress?" Emily asked

"Yeah I'll show it to you when we get back"

They drove back and dropped Emily's friend off before driving home.

Steve and Lily were finishing off decorating the buns that they'd made. Obviously Steve wanted to see his daughter's dress so she went upstairs to try it on.

"Rach, can you come and do it up for me please?" Sadie shouted down the stairs

"I'll just do it roughly for now, obviously on the day I'll try and do it properly but we may have to have a practise beforehand"

Once it was done Sadie went down to show Steve, Emily and Lily who all thought she looked amazing in it too.

Sadie went back upstairs and got changed before going back down to the kitchen.

"Rach, what time are we eating?"

"I've just stuck some pizzas and garlic bread in the oven so it should be ready at about six, why?"

"Would it be okay if I went to the cinema tonight with some friends?"

"Yeah of course, what time?"

"The film starts at 8"

"Okay I'll drop you off if you want"

"Thanks"

Once it was ready Rachel shouted everyone in but no-one seemed to hear, so Rachel went into the lounge.

"Tea's ready" Rachel said as she walked into the lounge

They all got up and went straight out apart from Lily who stayed lying on the sofa.

"Are you okay love?"

"I'm not very hungry Mummy"

"Well you need to eat something, come and try and have a bit"

Lily followed Rachel out but Rachel did notice that she was looking a bit pale.

Now that the bullying had been sorted out, Lily was so much happier both at school and at home.

They'd all finished their tea but Lily was still going.

"Mummy I really can't eat anymore" Lily said even though she'd hardly eaten anything

"That's okay darling, are you feeling okay?"

Lily didn't respond to this because she suddenly stood up and darted out of the room and into the downstairs toilet.

"I'll just go and see if she's okay" Rachel said excusing herself from the table

When Rachel found Lily she was being violently sick so she quickly rushed over and held her hair back and rubbed her back.

"Do you think you're done?" Rachel asked once she'd stopped being sick

Lily nodded before bursting into tears.

"I don't like being sick Mummy"

"I know you don't love, I don't think anyone does really but it's just one of those things isn't it? Shall we get you cleaned up a bit?"

Rachel took hold of Lily's hand and they walked into the hallway.

"You go upstairs and I'll be right behind you love"

Rachel popped into the kitchen to tell them about Lily.

"Are you alright to clear up Steve?"

"Yeah that's fine Rach"

"Thank you" Rachel said before going up after Lily

Lily brushed her teeth and then Rachel got her changed into her pyjamas.

"How are you feeling now?"

"I still feel sick"

"How long have you been feeling sick for?"

"For a few hours"

"Why didn't you say before?"

"I was hoping I was going to feel better but then I just started feeling even worse"

"Now do you want to go straight to bed or come and lie on the sofa for a bit?"

"I'll lie on the sofa"

"Do you want me to bring your quilt down?"

"Yes please"

Rachel went down with Lily and got her a bowl in case she was sick again.

"I'm just going to go and see what time Sadie wants to leave"

"No stay with me" Lily said

"I won't be long"

Rachel went up to Sadie's room and found her in a bit of a flap.

"Woah, calm down love what's wrong?"

"I haven't got anything to wear"

"Nothing to wear? That's funny because I thought I was standing in a wardrobe full of your clothes"

"Nothing that looks nice though"

"You've got loads of clothes you look nice in, you are only going to the cinema though"

"Doesn't mean I want to look horrible though"

Rachel started going through Sadie's wardrobe and picking out a few things but Sadie said no to it all.

"See I told you I don't have anything"

"You do, you're just being too bloody fussy"

"Now how about this skirt, with that pretty top you wore when we went out for a meal last week?"

"Oh yeah I could wear that, I'll try it on"

"You look lovely darling" Rachel said once Sadie had it on

Sadie tried it on and felt quite nice in it so decided to wear it.

"I just came up to see what time you wanted to leave"

"I was going to say half seven, but I'm never going to be ready in time I still need to finish off my makeup and do my hair"

"You're making quite a lot of effort for this trip to the cinema, are you sure it's just your friends you're going with?" Rachel said joking

"Yes of course it is, that's what I told you isn't it? Why would I lie?"

"I was only joking sweetheart, but now I'm beginning to wonder if you are lying to me. Is it your friends you're going with?"

Sadie looked away and shook her head.

"Who are you going with?"

"A boy in my year, he asked me out at school on Friday"

"Why didn't you just tell me huh?"

"Because it's embarrassing"

"No it's not, you're nearly 16 I'm not surprised you're starting to go out with boys"

"Please don't tell Dad, I don't want him to know"

"Well I'll keep it to myself for tonight, but only this once because we don't really want to start lying to him. What's he called then?"

"He's called Bradley"

"And did you say he's in your year?"

"Yeah we're in the same science and maths classes. He's so funny, apparently he'd been wanting to ask me out for ages but he was too nervous"

"I'm not surprised, you're a very beautiful girl"

"Thanks Rach" Sadie said blushing a little bit

"Anyway you'd better finish getting ready, we don't want to keep Bradley waiting do we?"

"No" Sadie said smiling, glad that she'd finally told Rachel. She'd been trying ever since she'd got in from school yesterday but she just hadn't been able to bring herself to say it

"Just shout when you're ready to go and I'll drop you off"

Rachel then went back down and sat with Lily.

They were watching TV when all of a sudden Lily sat up.

"Mummy I'm going to be sick again"

Rachel quickly grabbed the bowl, but she wasn't quick enough and Lily ended up being sick all over her quilt.

Rachel then gave her the bowl and she carried on being sick while Rachel rubbed her back.

"Sorry" Lily said sheepishly when she'd finished

"It's okay darling, I know you didn't mean to. Why don't you go and sit with Emily while I get this sorted?"

Emily was sat on the other sofa completely unimpressed by what she'd just seen, but did still cuddle up to Lily when she came over.

Rachel put the dirty quilt cover into the wash and cleaned out the bowl before coming in again.

Before long Sadie came down as she was ready to go.

"You're looking very dressed up for the cinema" Steve said when he saw his daughter

"Not really" Sadie said but she started blushing because there was no way she wanted her Dad knowing she was going out with a boy

"Are you ready to get going love?"

"Yes please if that's okay"

"Do you want me to take her Rach?"

Rachel caught eyes with Sadie and saw her looking worried.

"No it's fine, you wait here"

When Rachel looked down she saw Lily had fallen asleep, she looked so young and vulnerable when she was poorly.

Rachel carefully lifted her off her as she'd been lying on Rachel, and then went out with Sadie.

"I won't be long" Rachel shouted before walking out the door

Rachel then drove Sadie over to the cinema.

"Have a good time sweetheart, be sensible won't you?"

"We're only going to the cinema, what do you think we're going to get up to?"

Sadie got out of the car and went into the cinema, Bradley had text to say he was waiting inside.

Rachel drove back home again.

When she got in she decided to put Lily up to bed as she was still fast asleep.

The evening past quickly and before long it was time for Rachel to pick Sadie up from the cinema.

When she pulled up outside, the two of them were stood really close and laughing, they hadn't even realised that Rachel had arrived.

Rachel sat there for a few moments and it didn't take them long to realise that she'd come so came over.

"Rach would you mind giving Bradley a lift too?"

"Yeah that's fine"

Bradley and Sadie both got in the back.

Bradley was quite nervous around Rachel, but when Rachel was chatting to him she thought he seemed like a really nice boy.

They dropped Bradley off and then drove home.

"He seems really nice love"

"Yeah I had such a nice time, I was really nervous before that it would be really awkward because it was just the two of us but it wasn't at all"

"I think he really likes you"

"Maybe I don't know"

"I'd say definitely"

They carried on talking until they got home, but then stopped because Sadie didn't want her Dad to know yet.

When they got in it was a bit chaotic in the lounge because Lily had just been sick again.

When she saw her Mum come in she immediately put her arms out because she wanted a cuddle.

"Oh love have you been sick again?"

"Yes it was horrible" Lily said crying and sounding quite sorry for herself

"I reckon we should get you into bed now"

Rachel went up with her and got her into bed. Neither of them had a very good nights sleep because Lily was sick quite a few times throughout the night, but by the morning Lily was starting to feel a bit better.


	10. Chapter 10

It was a Thursday afternoon and Rachel and Lily had just got in from school.

Lily had barely spoken a word since Rachel had picked her up from school, which was quite unusual for Lily. Usually Rachel could barely get a word in when she picked her up from school because Lily always seemed to have so much to tell her about what had happened at school.

Rachel thought she probably needed to have a little chat with Lily, but as they were walking into the house Sadie and Emily had just got in from school as well and Lily went straight up to her bedroom.

"Hi girls, how was school?"

"It wasn't too bad" Sadie replied but Emily didn't say anything

"How was your day Em?"

"Fine"

"Just fine?"

"Yeah" Emily said before walking past Rachel and going upstairs leaving Rachel wondering what was wrong with Emily as well as Lily

Sadie, Emily and Lily were all the same when it came to them being upset because it was always easy to tell when they weren't happy about something.

"Was Emily okay on the way home?" Rachel asked Sadie

"No not really, she was dead quiet the whole way home and barely said a word, I asked her what was up but she just told me to leave her alone"

"Okay, I'll have a chat with her in a bit then"

Sadie decided to go upstairs and get changed out of her uniform.

She was about to go back downstairs to get a drink, but as she was walking past Lily's bedroom she saw her laying there with her face in her pillow.

"Lily are you okay?"

"Yes"

"Are you sure? Why are you lying on your bed?"

"I'm just tired"

Sadie was almost certain she was crying but decided it might be best to just let Rachel speak to her.

She went downstairs and into the kitchen where Rachel had just made herself a cup of tea.

"Do you want a cuppa?"

"Ooh yes please"

Rachel decided to sit down with Sadie for five minutes. She had lots she needed to get on with tonight, but she'd also had a really busy day so just wanted to relax for five minutes.

"I just saw Lily lying on her bed, and I think she might have been crying"

"She didn't seem right when I picked her up from school, I'd better go and have a chat with her"

Rachel left her drink on the table and went upstairs.

When she got upstairs Lily was just finishing getting changed out of her uniform.

After she'd walked in Rachel closed the door behind her, as she wanted to speak to Lily without the other two girls hearing.

"Is everything okay sweetheart, you haven't seemed yourself since I picked you up from school?"

"Yes I'm fine"

"Are you sure?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that I'm fine"

"I've already told you, you just seem really quiet so I was worried about you"

"Well you don't need to worry"

Lily didn't sound herself whatsoever, she sounded angry almost.

"If you're sure, but you know you can tell me anything don't you Lil?"

"Yes, I just want to go and play"

"Okay then love, I'm making a lasagne for tea do you fancy giving me a hand?"

"Not really"

Lily then walked past her Mum and left her bedroom.

Rachel wondered what had happened to put her in this mood, something was clearly bothering her.

She decided to get on with a few jobs and then try and have another chat with Lily later.

Rachel went and got changed out of her work clothes, as she never felt very comfortable when she was wearing them.

After she'd done that, she was just walking out of her bedroom when she saw Emily coming out of the bathroom.

"Hiya love, I didn't get chance to speak to you properly earlier, did you say your day was okay?"

"Not too bad" Emily said but she couldn't help the tears that were filling her eyes

She tried to push them back, but she wasn't quick enough for Rachel not to notice.

"Shall we have a little chat in your room?" Rachel asked placing her hand reassuringly on Emily's arm

Emily nodded before following Rachel in.

"Now something's telling me you haven't had the best day at school"

"Not really no"

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"But it's so embarrassing" Emily said and she couldn't help a few tears from escaping from her eyes

"I'm sure it can't be that bad, and even if it is it's only me you're telling isn't it huh?"

"I guess" Emily said before deciding to tell Rachel

"I came on my period at school again today, and I know you told me to always keep pads in my school bag just in case but I forgot to put any in, so I just had to use tissue but I was really heavy and in PE I leaked and everyone saw" Emily said in tears

"Oh love, that must have been horrible"

"It was so embarrassing and everyone was laughing"

"It was only girls though wasn't it?"

"No we were doing inter tutor groups rounders so we were playing with the boys too. I didn't even want to play because my stomach was hurting my PE teacher said I couldn't sit out because I didn't have a note"

Rachel did feel sorry for Emily because she knew how embarrassing this kind of thing was, especially considering Emily was still getting used to having periods.

Emily was crying quite a lot so Rachel pulled her into her chest and stroked her long brown hair whilst she cried.

"I know that at the minute this will seem like the worst thing in the world, but it will soon be all forgotten about I promise. You certainly aren't the only girl who's got an embarrassing story to tell about their period"

"I bet you haven't got any"

"Oh believe me I do young lady, there was this one time I must've been about thirteen and a big group of us went on a trip to Blackpool. It was summer so I was wearing white shorts. We'd been sitting on the beach for quite a while and when I stood up to go to the loo I turned around and saw everyone laughing. One of my friends walked off me and told me what had happened. I felt so embarrassed and humiliated, but it couldn't be helped and I just had to get on with it and not let it ruin my day"

"Were there boys there?"

"Yep, including one that I really fancied at the time"

Talking to Rachel about it had made her feel a bit better, she still wasn't particularly looking forward to going into school tomorrow and facing everyone though.

"I hate being a girl, boys don't have to go through any of this"

"It does seem that way yes, boys do have their own things to be worrying about though. Anyway are you feeling a bit happier now?"

"Yeah thanks Rachel"

"And how's your stomach now?"

"Really hurting"

"Okay, I'll get you sorted with a hot water bottle and some paracetamol"

"Thank you"

"No problem love"

Once Rachel had got Emily sorted she went down to the kitchen and made a start on the lasagne.

She'd just starting making the Bolognese when Sadie walked in.

"Rach, you know how I've been really good recently and I've been working really hard for my exams and stuff"

"Yes"

"Well you think I deserve a nice treat to celebrate when they're all over don't you?"

"Yes" Rachel said wondering what it was that Sadie was after

"Well could I maybe go to Magaluf with my friends?"

"Magaluf? At the age of fifteen? I don't think so somehow"

"I'm going to be sixteen in a couple of weeks"

"Yes and still way too young. Once you've finished your A levels it will be a whole other matter, but you're far too young at the minute. Besides you're too young to be going to the clubs"

"One of my friend's sister's went last summer and none of them got ID'd once, they're really laid back there and most of us look old enough anyway"

"My answer is still no Sadie, and I'm sure your Father will back me up on that"

"Please Rach, I'd be really sensible"

Rachel gave her a look, as they both knew that wasn't true.

"There's nothing you can say that will change my mind"

"That's so unfair, I bet everyone else's parents say yes and they I'm just going to be stuck here on my bloody own while there having a good time" Sadie shouted before storming out

Rachel rolled her eyes. Sadie had clearly forgotten she was meant to be on her best behaviour so that she could have the party she was so desperate for for her Birthday.

It was a bit later when Steve got home from work.

Rachel told him all about what Sadie wanted, and he was shocked she'd even asked.

"I'm just gong to go upstairs and get changed"

"Okay don't be long because tea's nearly ready"

Ten minutes later and the lasagne was ready so Rachel called everyone down.

"You seem in a better mood now Sadie" Rachel commented when they were all sat around the table

"No-one else is allowed to go either. I'm sorry for being moody earlier, I kind of get why you said no"

"Thank you for understanding, you're still going to have an amazing summer just think of how long a break you've got"

"I know, I can't wait to get these exams out the way and then just have the whole summer to relax"

Lily was really quiet throughout the whole meal, and wasn't being nice to anyone either.

She'd just snapped at Emily for asking if she wanted to be in her art project for school"

"There was really no need for that Lily, Emily was trying to be nice and let you be in her project, she might not ask again if you're going to speak to her like that"

"Speak to her like what? I just said I didn't to be in it"

"It was the way you said it" Rachel said sounding quite stern

"If you've had enough you can put your plate in the dishwasher and then go upstairs and start getting ready for bed" Rachel said as she always liked meal times to be a calm, happy time and didn't want Lily ruining it for everyone else

Lily scowled at Rachel before leaving the table.

Once she'd gone everyone else ate the rest of their lasagne and had a nice conversation.

"Steve do you mind clearing up whilst I go and see to Lily?"

"No of course not"

Rachel went upstairs and Lily was sat playing on an iPad.

"I thought I told you to get ready for bed"

"I was just about to"

"Would you like me to help you?"

"No, I want you to leave me alone"

"Okay, you get yourself ready for bed. Don't forget to clean your teeth and go for a wee"

"It's not even my bedtime yet"

"Well the way you've been acting tonight suggests to me that you need an early night"

"I haven't been acting any differently to normal"

"I think you have, see normally you're a lovely little girl Lily but you've been quite the opposite tonight"

Lily was about to respond but Rachel got in first.

"Put your pyjamas on, clean your teeth, go for a wee and then straight into bed"

Rachel left her to it and went back downstairs. She really hoped that Lily would do as she said.

After about ten minutes later Rachel went back upstairs to check on Lily, who was luckily in bed.

Rachel turned the big light off before going over to sit on Lily's bed and turning on her little lamp.

"I'm going to ask you one more time Lily" Rachel said calmly "is there something upsetting you or something you want to talk to me about?"

"How many times do I have to tell you no there's nothing wrong, just leave me alone"

"I don't believe you Lily"

"I'm telling the truth, can I read my book for a bit?"

"No straight to sleep I think"

"I'm not tired"

"I don't care, you've been very naughty tonight so you can do as I say"

"All I want to do is read for five minutes before I go to sleep and you won't even let me do that, you're the worst Mum in the world"

"I'm sorry you think that"

"Well you are I wish I had a different Mum who would let me read, I hate you"

Rachel had had enough by this point so she just turned off the light and walked out.

She felt tears forming in her eyes, as even though she knew Lily didn't mean it her words had still affected her.

"Goodnight Lily, I hope you're in a better mood in the morning"

Rachel went into her bedroom as she was feeling quite upset by what had just happened with Lily and wanted a bit of time on her own.

Despite how naughty Lily had been tonight, Rachel was actually getting really worried about her and was determined to get to the bottom of whatever was bothering her.

Rachel laid on her bed for ten minutes before deciding to go back in to see Lily. After all, she didn't want to leave things like that with Lily before she went to sleep.

When Rachel went in, it broke her heart when she saw Lily sobbing.

Rachel immediately flicked on the light before going straight over to her.

When Rachel started rubbing her back she half expected Lily to flinch away, but she didn't. Instead she just started crying more and more and eventually she became hysterical.

"Lily please tell me what's wrong"

"I'm so stupid I can't do anything" Lily blurted out but she was struggling to get her words out because she was crying so much

Lily ended up getting herself so worked up that she was sick all over herself, her bed and Rachel.

"Take some nice deep breaths for me Lily, in and out, in and out"

After a while Rachel did manage to calm Lily down although she hadn't fully stopped crying and she did keep catching her breath.

"Right, I think we should put you in a nice hot bath and then we can have a little chat"

"I'm sorry Mummy"

"Come on we'll talk all about it whilst you're in the bath"

Rachel started running a bath for Lily before going into her bedroom.

Lily wouldn't let Rachel go, so in the end took Lily with her.

Rachel took her clothes off as they were covered in sick and put a pair of pyjamas on.

"I think I'll be getting in the bath after you, I feel all horrible and sicky"

"Sorry"

"It's not your fault darling, come on let's get you in the bath"

The two of them went back to the bathroom and Lily took her pyjamas off. Once the bath was ready Rachel helped her climb into the bath.

Rachel let Lily have a little relax in the bath. Luckily Lily hadn't been sick in her hair so that didn't need washing.

Steve came in as he was wondering where Rachel had got to.

"Everything okay in here?"

"Lily's been a bit sick, would you mind stripping her bed for me?"

"No of course not, are you feeling better now Lily?"

"Yes thank you"

Steve left so Rachel turned her attention back to Lily.

"Now sweetheart, do you think the reason you've been acting up tonight is because you're a bit upset about something?" Rachel asked to which Lily nodded her head

"Do you think you could tell me what it is that you're upset about?"

"I wish I was cleverer"

"Why ever do you wish that? We had your parents evening last week and Mrs Miller was telling us just how clever you are wasn't she?"

"I'm not anymore. We had one of our maths SATs paper today and it was really hard and I think I've done it all wrong and I'm going to do so badly"

Rachel was crouched down on the floor and rubbing Lily's back.

"We talked about this Lily, you know I don't care how you do in your SATs as long as you try your best. These tests really aren't anything for you to worry about, they're just tests that have to be done so that your teachers know what level you're at and what they can do to help you"

Rachel hated how much pressure was being placed on kids over some SATs tests. She knew Lily wasn't the only child in the class who had been getting really worried over them.

"But what if I do so badly that I'm not allowed to move into year three and then I'll have no friends in my class"

"Who mentioned anything about not being allowed to go up to year three?"

"Some of the boys in my class"

"They have no idea what they're talking about love, you won't have to stay in year two for another year don't you worry about that"

"Do you promise?"

"Yes I promise"

"Are you going to be cross if I do really badly?"

"Of course I won't Lily, but we're not even going to find out your results though are we? It's only your teachers who will know"

"Mrs Miller is still going to know how stupid I am"

"Darling you're not stupid, these tests are designed to be hard and push you a bit but don't for one minute think that you're stupid, because you're not okay? Your Mummy's clever little girl and I couldn't be more proud" Rachel said placing a kiss on her daughter's head

"Mummy"

"Yes love"

"You know earlier when I said that I hated you and I wish you weren't my Mummy. Well I didn't mean it because I think you're the best Mummy in the world and I love you"

"I love you too darling, and I knew you didn't mean it, well I hoped you didn't anyway"

"I was just feeling angry and upset"

"I know you were. It's easy to say things you don't mean when you're upset isn't it?"

"Yes"

"Anyway Missus I think it's time we got you out of the bath and into bed, or I'm never going to be able to get you out of bed in the morning"

Rachel got Lily sorted again before putting on clean sheets and then tucking her up in bed.

Rachel stayed with her until she was asleep, before running a bath for herself and relaxing now that Lily was feeling happier.

Please review xxxxx


	11. Chapter 11

It was a Saturday and the day of Sadie's party, which she was so excited about! Her actual Birthday was earlier on in the week.

Rachel had a very busy day ahead. She had to take Emily to cheerleading try outs this morning and then come back to set up for the party.

It was 7 o clock when Rachel's alarm went off. Usually she didn't set an alarm for the weekend, but she had to leave with Emily at 8 today to leave.

Rachel got out of bed straight away and headed for the shower.

She showered as quickly as she could because she didn't have much time before getting out and wrapping a towel around her body and head.

After this she went to check that Emily was up.

Rachel wasn't surprised that when she went in Emily was still fast asleep, as she'd been up really late last night as she couldn't sleep from worrying about today.

It didn't take long for Emily to wake up though, and as soon as she was she got straight out of bed and started getting ready.

"I'll get dressed and quickly dry my hair, and then I'll go down and make your breakfast love"

"Okay thanks Rachel"

When Rachel and Emily left Steve, Sadie and Lily were all still asleep.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm so nervous"

"You're going to be fine love, and besides if you don't get in it really doesn't matter, there are other clubs around here"

"I know, it would just feel weird joining a different cheerleading club"

Emily had started cheerleading at quite a young age but had stopped when she was about ten, but from what Rachel had heard it sounded like she used to be quite good.

Recently though, Emily and one of her friends had decided to start again and Emily was really excited about it.

When they arrived Emily was so nervous, and had really bad butterflies in her stomach.

Just as they were getting out the car though Emily spotted her friend with her Mum walking through the car park, so they walked over to them.

Once Emily was with her friend Sophie she her butterflies settled a tiny bit, but it didn't stop her from feeling extremely nervous.

They went and got the girls signed in, and then Rachel and Sophie's Mum went to find a seat while the girls went to join the other girls also trying out.

Emily knew her chances of getting in were quite slim as she'd only just turned twelve so was going to be one of the youngest, if not the youngest, in this group as it was for 12 to 15 year olds.

She was determined to do her best and get in though because it was something that she really wanted to do.

Rachel was sat watching but she too felt really nervous.

Once it was all over Rachel and Sophie's Mum headed back to the entrance to meet Emily and Sophie.

"How was that girls?"

"Good" they both said although Rachel picked up at once that Emily didn't look very happy

"Are you okay darling?" Rachel asked once they were back in the car

"I'm definitely not going to get in, I was one of the youngest there and I definitely didn't perform my best"

"I thought you did an amazing job, but they're obviously going to understand that you're going to be a bit nervous"

"I suppose, but I still don't think I've got in" Emily said sounding quite fed up

"We'll just have to wait and see won't we?"

"Yeah"

Rachel took her to Costa on the way home to try and cheer her up a bit. By the time they'd left Costa Emily did seem a bit happier than she had before.

When they arrived home Steve, Sadie and Lily were all out in the garden as it was a really nice day.

Steve had put the paddling pool up so Lily was in there, Sadie was on a sun lounger and Steve was cleaning the BBQ as Sadie was having a few of her closest friends over a bit earlier for a BBQ and to get ready together.

"I hope you've got sun cream on girls"

"I do Mummy, Steve did it for me"

"Good, what about you Sadie?"

"I've only been out here for ten minutes and we're leaving soon so there's no point is there?"

"I'm going to make lunch before we go so if you're going to stay out here for any longer I want you to put some on, the last thing you want is to be burnt for your party"

Sadie rolled her eyes, but grabbed the sun cream and put some on.

After lunch it was time for Rachel and Sadie to go shopping to get the stuff ready for tonight.

They just had the food and drinks left to buy.

Rachel ended up spending a fortune, but it was Sadie's 16th Birthday party so it didn't really matter.

After they'd done the shopping Rachel dropped Sadie off to get her nails done before heading home.

Rachel made a start on getting everything prepared but it was soon time to go and pick Sadie up.

"Shall I go?"

"Yeah if you don't mind that would be great, remember you've got to pick up three of her friends as well"

Rachel was in the middle of putting some lights up outside with Emily when Lily suddenly shouted.

"Mummy" Lily said sounding worried, she was in the paddling pool for the second time that day

"I need a wee" Lily said

"Go to the toilet then, you know where it is"

"I'm not going to make it, I'm desperate"

"Just try your best, the longer you leave it the worst it's going to be"

Lily climbed out of the paddling pool and ran as quickly as she could into the house.

"Careful you don't slip" Rachel shouted

A couple of minutes later Lily returned to the garden.

"Did you make it?"

"Yes"

"Good, don't leave it so long next time huh?"

"Sorry Mum"

"It's fine, anyway we need to get you bathed because we're going to have the BBQ at about 4"

"Do I have to? Can't I just have a bath after the BBQ?"

"I suppose so, but don't forget your sleeping at Grandma's tonight"

"Oh yeah, what time am I going there?"

"About six probably love"

Steve and Lily were both staying at Steve's Mum's house tonight as Sadie didn't want them to stay. After a lot of persuasion she was letting Rachel stay at home though.

"Is Emily staying there too?"

"No she's got a sleepover tonight"

When Steve got back with the girls, he turned the BBQ on.

It was nice for Rachel to finally sit down and relax for a bit.

After they'd eaten, Sadie went upstairs with her friends to start getting ready and Rachel mopped the floor before getting Lily bathed.

At about six Steve was getting ready to leave.

"Sadie, can you come down here a minute please?"

Steve was shocked when he saw how grown up his daughter looked. She was wearing a red dress with black heels, and had a full face of makeup on with curly hair. She was also wearing the Tiffany necklace that Rachel and Steve had bought her for her Birthday.

Rachel smiled when she saw how gorgeous she looked.

"Look at you Sadie, you look gorgeous" Rachel said but then she laughed when she saw Steve's face

"What's wrong with you Steve?"

"Don't you think that dress is a bit grown up for her?"

"No I think it's lovely, I helped her choose it, just be thankful it's actually covering the places that it should"

"Only just, and what about her makeup?"

"I am still here you know Dad"

"Why shouldn't she dress up a bit Steve, it's her Birthday party"

Rachel had to admit that she did look grown up, but she also looked beautiful and in her opinion she hadn't made herself look too grown up.

"Okay okay, you do look lovely Sadie" Steve finally said

"Thanks Dad"

"Anyway I'm off now, but I just wanted to say remember the rules we talked about"

"Yes I remember Dad, you don't need to go through them again"

"I know I know, I also wanted to say to enjoy yourself"

"I think I will don't worry"

"Bye then darling"

"Bye Dad"

Rachel said goodbye to Steve, Emily and Lily and then the three of them left.

"Are you nearly ready love?"

"Yeah nearly, I just need to do my lipstick and put some perfume on"

"Okay, well come down when you're ready and I'll pour you all a glass of fizz"

"Aw thanks Rach"

"No problem love"

Sadie went back up and finished getting ready with her friends.

Once they were all ready they came down to the kitchen.

"Have you made the punch yet Rachel?" Sadie asked

Rachel had agreed to make a bowl of punch, but she definitely wasn't planning on making it very strong.

"I'm going to do it now"

Rachel got the prosecco out of the fridge before pouring them each a glass.

She poured one for herself too before handing one each to the girls.

"Cheers" they all said before taking a sip

Rachel looked at Sadie and saw how happy and excited she was looking.

Once Rachel had made the punch they decided to sit in the garden for a bit as it was a beautiful evening.

"The lights look well pretty Rach"

"Yeah they look good don't they"

After chatting for a while Rachel topped their glasses up.

Rachel and the girls were all enjoying talking, Rachel could tell the bubbles had gone to their head already though as they all already seemed a bit tipsy.

Suddenly the doorbell went.

"Are you going upstairs now then Rach?"

"Yes okay, I'm going. Be sensible girls and please don't drink too much"

"Don't worry, we won't" Sadie said giving her a smile

Rachel grabbed a glass and a bottle of wine before heading upstairs.

Sadie got the door and saw it was a couple more of her friends so let them in.

"Look what my Dad bought me Sadie" one of her friends said showing her a bottle of vodka

"Oh my god he let you bring that? No way!"

"I know I couldn't believe it when I asked him and he actually said yes. I'm sure if Mum was at home before I left she'd have stopped me though"

The girls had finished their prosecco now so Sadie added more vodka to the punch before getting everyone a glass.

The doorbell went again and this time it was Bradley.

Sadie let them in before the two of them started kissing rather passionately. Sadie was already fairly tipsy.

It wasn't long before loads of people arrived and the island in the kitchen was filling up with booze.

Sadie was still drinking quickly so was getting more and more drunk.

Rachel had left them for a couple of hours, but she felt like she ought to go down to have a quick check on them.

She was extremely shocked when she noticed the amount of alcohol in the kitchen but there wasn't really anything she could do about it.

Rachel looked and nobody seemed to be causing any damage.

They were clearly drunk but everyone seemed to be behaving.

Sadie spotted Rachel so came straight over.

Rachel was expecting Sadie to tell her to leave but much to her surprise she didn't.

"Rach, come join in the party"

"No it's okay love I'm going back upstairs now I was just checking everything's okay"

"But Rach I love you so much you're just the most amazing woman, I wish you were my Mum, but I don't really mind because you basically are my Mum now aren't you?" Sadie said babbling on in her drunken way

"Yes sweetheart, you know I will always be here for you and I love you too. Are you having a good party?"

"Yes I'm having the best night ever, please come and dance with me it is my Birthday" Sadie said taking hold of Rachel's hand and dragging her outside onto the patio

"Okay love but just for one song"

Rachel had had a few glasses of wine herself so was feeling a bit on the tipsy side.

Rachel danced for a bit before going back upstairs again.

Sadie was inside with one of best friends when they decided to do a vodka shot each.

As soon as Sadie swallowed it though she had to run to the downstairs toilet because she knew she was about to be sick.

As soon as she got there she threw up, but once she'd been sick she felt loads better so went out and carried on drinking and dancing.

Sadie hadn't seen Bradley for a while so went to find him.

When she found him she went up and put her arms around his neck. Bradley snaked his arms around Sadie's waist and rested his hands on her bum.

They started kissing resulting in a lot of wolf whistling, not that they took any notice of this, they just carried on.

Sadie was really enjoying this and wanted to take things a bit further.

"Let's go upstairs" Sadie whispered into Bradley's ear

Bradley had no objections to this so the two of them went up to Sadie's bedroom.

Bradley didn't realise that Sadie had meant she wanted to go all the way but he was really drunk so didn't stop it, luckily he was prepared.

After they'd done it Sadie ran off again straight away and carried on dancing with her friends.

She told her best friend that she'd just lost her virginity, but she didn't tell anyone else.

At about 12 Rachel came downstairs to tell everyone it was time to go home.

It was quite a hard task getting everyone to leave when they were all so drunk.

Eventually she managed to get everyone out, other than the ones that were staying.

Rachel sent Sadie and her friends up to bed, all of whom were very drunk.

She had a quick tidy up but decided the rest could wait until the morning.

The girls all went to sleep fairly quickly once they were in bed.

Sadie woke up at about 5 o clock in the morning.

She'd been lying there for a few moments, when she suddenly remembered what had happened last night.

She couldn't believe she'd lost her virginity.

Her and Bradley had talked about it before and she'd told him that she wasn't ready yet, and she definitely hadn't wanted to lose it when she was drunk.

Sadie was so shocked that she couldn't even cry about it, but she didn't want to be with her friends at the minute, she just wanted Rachel.

So she went and climbed into bed next to Rachel, she was still feeling a bit drunk.

Rachel was in such a deep sleep that she didn't even wake up.

Sadie laid there for ages tossing and turning, just thinking about what had happened last night.

Eventually though she did drop off to sleep again.

When Rachel woke up the next morning she was shocked when she saw Sadie in there and wondered why she was.

Rachel sat up in bed and read her book for a bit waiting for Sadie to wake up.

Eventually Sadie started to stir.

"Morning love"

"Morning Rachel" Sadie said quietly

"How come you came in here last night?"

"Oh I urmm… I don't know I just wanted to"

"Are you not feeling too good this morning?" Rachel said with a small laugh

"I don't feel too bad, I do have a bit of a sore head but I'm okay"

"What's up then sweetheart?"

"I don't know" Sadie said as tears filled her eyes

"You don't know? You're crying so there must be something up. Was it something that happened last night?"

Sadie gave a small nod of her head.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Sadie just turned away from Rachel, she was too embarrassed and ashamed to say.

Rachel reached across and started rubbing her arm.

"Whatever it is you can tell me love"

Sadie couldn't keep it to herself any longer and in the end just came out with it.

"I had sex with Bradley last night"

Rachel hadn't been expecting to hear that and immediately began to feel sorry for Sadie.

She wasn't happy that Sadie had started sleeping with Bradley when they hadn't been going out for that long, but now definitely wasn't the time for a lecture.

"Oh love, come and give us a cuddle"

Rachel sat up and leaned into Rachel and had a good cry into her chest.

"I can't believe it happened, I was just so drunk and I thought it was what I wanted at the time but I know now that it really wasn't"

"I know how you must be feeling, I regretted the first time I had sex too. But the thing is love, it's happened now and there's nothing you can do to change it. You're going to have to just put it behind you and make sure you wait until you're ready next time"

"I can't believe I was so stupid, I feel so dirty. Do you think less of me now Rachel?"

"No love, of course I don't. I still love you and care so much about you, and I always will no matter what you do. Growing up is hard and I get that sometimes you're going to make the wrong decision. What's important though, is that you learn from it. I know this is going to be hard for you to deal with, but a lot of girls still regret losing their virginity even if they had been planning on it because it's such a big thing. I just want you to remember that you're not alone in this, and you can talk to me about it anytime you like"

"Thanks Rachel, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can"

"Why did you regret losing your virginity?"

"I was fifteen when it happened, I'd been going out with this boy for a few weeks and well I suppose he pressured me into it really. After it happened I felt horrible and dirty and so alone, but unlike you I didn't have anyone to talk about it with which just made things so much worse"

"I'm glad I have you Rachel, I'd never have told Mum"

"I'm so glad you did, because even though sometimes it's hard to share stuff like this it really does help. Anyway love do you want to have a shower? It might make you feel a bit better"

"Yeah I'll do that, Rach do you think I should tell my friends?"

"I think it would be nice for you to talk about it with your friends, but obviously you don't have to if you'd rather not"

"Well I think I told Zoe last night, but I may tell the other two as well when they're all awake"

"Completely your choice love"

Sadie was still shaken up, but felt a lot better for talking to Rachel about it.


	12. Chapter 12

It was a Thursday night and Sadie had just got out the bath.

She'd been feeling ever so down lately and she just couldn't stop thinking about what had happened at her party.

Sadie regretted it so much and wished it had never happened, she'd barely even spoken to Bradley since it had.

Sadie sat on her bed for ages, just wearing her towel, before eventually putting on some pyjama shorts and a top.

All of her friends seemed to be so happy at the moment, after all they'd just finished their exams and they had the whole summer ahead of them. Sadie hadn't even been able to bring herself together to go the party on Friday which one of her best friends had to celebrate the end of exams.

Once she was changed Sadie got her laptop and started trying to find something to watch on Netflix.

Rachel had just come upstairs after having yet another argument with Steve, which had ended up on Steve walking out of the house.

Things hadn't been very good between the pair of them over the last few days so the atmosphere in the house wasn't particularly pleasant.

Rachel saw that Sadie was out of the bath now so decided to have one herself.

She went in and turned the taps on but when she looked up she noticed a wine glass on the side and wondered what it was doing there, but went straight into Sadie's room.

"Sadie have you been drinking?" Rachel asked raising her eyebrows

"Why do you ask that?"

"I just found a wine glass in the bathroom"

Sadie had had a glass of wine when she was in the bath and forgot to bring the glass back down after.

"Oh yeah I just had a glass of wine when I was in the bath"

"You don't normally do that and I don't remember you asking me or your Dad first"

"Sorry" Sadie said barely engaging in the conversation

"How come you decided to have a glass of wine huh?"

"What's with all the bloody questions? Whenever you're stressed you always have a glass of wine in the bath so I thought I'd do the same"

Rachel sighed before going and sitting down on the bed next to Sadie, she was starting to get a bit worried about her as she hadn't been herself lately.

"And what have you got to be stressed about? You've just left school, you shouldn't have a care in the world"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter"

"Come on love, there's clearly something bothering you. You've been really down for weeks now"

At first Rachel had put it down to Sadie being in the middle of exams, but they were over now and she still seemed really quiet and distant all the time.

"I already said it doesn't matter"

Rachel sat there and didn't say anything for a bit.

Sadie hadn't seemed happy since the night of her party, so Rachel wondered if she was still upset about what had happened with Bradley.

"Are you still struggling with… the fact you had sex with Bradley?"

Sadie was about to lie but her eyes started filling with tears, so instead she just looked at Rachel. She didn't need to answer because it was obvious to Rachel now that this was what was bothering her.

Rachel put her arms around Sadie and gave her a much needed cuddle.

Sadie had been bottling it up and lying about how she really felt but now it was all coming out.

"Why did you tell me you were okay with it now? I thought you knew you could talk to me about it"

"I didn't want to talk about it, I thought it would help me get over it quicker. But I can't stop wishing that it had never happened. I feel like I'm making a massive deal over nothing but I just regret it so much"

"Of course you're not making a big deal out of nothing sweetheart, losing your virginity is such a big thing both physically and emotionally and as much as you don't realise it you are still young so I'm not surprised you're feeling the way you are"

"But some of my friends lost it before I did and they were fine with it"

"Everyone reacts differently love, and I know I haven't known you for that long but I know that you really are very sensitive. Growing up is hard and losing your virginity is a massive part of it that brings so many emotions. And you will get over it my love, I promise you will. The most important thing though is that you talk about how you feel, so it might be a good idea if we take you to see a Doctor so they can arrange someone for you to talk to"

"No I don't want to do that"

"It's no good bottling it all up though Sadie, it will just make things harder"

"I'll talk to you about it, I know I haven't really talked to you about it much but it's just because I thought I could handle it on my own but I know now"

"Okay love but you just make sure you do. As you get older you'll realise that sex plays a big part in a relationship and it's so so important to talk about any worries rather than keeping it to yourself"

"I know"

Sadie and Rachel talked for a bit longer until Sadie was starting to feel a bit better.

Rachel knew now that she was a lot more shaken up by what had happened than what she'd been letting on, but hoped she'd be able to help her now.

Rachel had completely forgotten she was running a bath so when she went into the bathroom the bath was very full and hot.

She let out some of the water and put the cold tap on before going downstairs and pouring herself a large glass of wine.

Once the bath was ready she got in looking forward to having a nice soak.

She laid in the bath thinking about Sadie and how she needed to sort things out with Steve. She loved Steve so much and hated it when they argued.

After she'd been in for about twenty minutes the door opened and Lily walked in.

"I didn't know you were in here Mummy, I need a wee"

"That's okay, you can still go to the loo"

"I don't want to when you're in here" Lily said, but really she didn't want to go into the bathroom because she didn't want her Mum to notice her tearstained face

"Go and use my en suite then love"

Lily went to the loo before going back to bed.

When Rachel was done in the bath she got out and wrapped a towel around herself. She went to her room and put on a black nightie before deciding to check on Lily.

Rachel walked in and thought it sounded like Lily was crying so flicked the light on.

She then saw Lily lying in bed crying and it looked like she'd got herself into a real state so she went right over.

"Lil, what's wrong?"

"I don't want Steve to go"

"What makes you think Steve is going to go?"

"Because you keep arguing and then he was really angry earlier so he left"

"How do you know he left?"

"I was coming down to see you because I couldn't sleep, but then I heard you two shouting at each other so I sat on the stairs and listened to what you were saying and then I saw Steve go"

Rachel couldn't believe her daughter had heard them arguing, it certainly wasn't the type of thing she should of heard especially with some of the language they were using.

"I'm sorry darling, that definitely wasn't something you should have heard. Why didn't you come in and stop us?"

"You both sounded really angry so I was scared"

"I'm so sorry Lily, no matter how angry we were with each other though we wouldn't have been angry with you I promise"

"Is Steve coming back?"

"Yes of course he is"

"So he can pack his stuff up?"

"What? No, of course not. I know me and Steve have been arguing a lot lately but we still love each other and we're going to make up again"

"Really?"

"Yes, really"

"I don't like it when you argue. Normally I look forward to going home from school, but today I didn't want to leave school because I don't like being at home when you argue"

"I know you don't sweetheart, so tonight when you go back to sleep me and Steve are going to get this sorted so when you wake up in the morning everything will be back to normal"

Rachel didn't know if her and Steve would be able to sort it out tonight because they it had been a really big argument that they'd had, but she knew she wanted to try and if not they'd have to pretend to be getting on for Lily's sake.

Not just for Lily, she knew that Sadie and Emily both hated it when they argued as well.

"So you and Steve will be happy again and you won't be shouting at each other?"

"Yes we'll be happy again, anyway darling it's definitely time for you to go to sleep because you're going to be so tired in the morning and I won't be able to get you out of bed"

"But I couldn't get to sleep before"

"It's probably because you had all of this on your mind, I'll stay with you for a bit and hopefully you'll drop off"

Lily got comfy and then Rachel rubbed her back until she dropped off to sleep, which didn't take too long.

By the time Steve came home that evening both he and Rachel had calmed down considerably, meaning they could sit down and talk things through properly.

They stayed up until about 2 o clock talking but they managed to get it sorted out.

Rachel did wonder how long it would be before they fell out again though, because at the minute it didn't seem to take much to get them into an argument. She didn't understand how they could be so happy together one day yet the next day be falling out so badly.

"You go on up to bed Rach, I'll just turn everything off down here and I'll be up"

Rachel noticed the bathroom light was on as she walked across the landing and a few moments later Lily walked out.

It was unusual for Lily to wake up in the middle of the night to go to the loo, unless she was a bit unsettled so Rachel guessed she was probably still worrying.

"Mummy why are you still up, isn't it really late?"

"I'm going to bed now love"

"Are you still waiting for Steve to come home?"

"No he came back hours ago love, and we've sorted everything out now"

"Really?"

"Yes love, really. Now come on back into bed"

"Okay Mummy"

Suddenly Emily appeared out of her room looking a bit groggy.

"What are you two doing out here?" Emily asked as she hadn't been expecting to see anyone

"I'm just off to bed and so is Lily now, why what are you doing out here?"

"I need the loo, that's all" Emily said before going in

Rachel got Lily tucked up in bed before climbing into bed herself, as she was starting to feel really tired now.

The next morning came around way too quickly for Rachel. She was so glad it was the weekend as she was feeling exhausted.

Reluctantly, Rachel dragged herself out of bed and went straight for the shower, a lot later than she usually got up.

Once she was dressed she went to wake Emily and Lily up.

They all struggled to get up, but it was especially hard to get Lily out of bed that morning.

"Mummy I'm too tired to go to school today" Lily moaned

"It's not up for debate I'm afraid, you know you have to go to school every day"

"Apart from when I'm poorly"

"Well you're not poorly"

"Yes I am"

"That's news to me, what's wrong with you?"

"My tummy hurts and I feel sick and hot and my throat hurts and I've got a headache"

"My goodness you have got a lot wrong with you"

"Exactly so I'll have to stay off school today"

"I think you're still well enough to go in"

"But I'm poorly"

"You'll cope, and then you've got the whole weekend to recover. Might mean you have to miss Abi's Birthday party tomorrow"

"No I'm not too poorly to miss that"

"I think you're fine to go into school then, come on Missus up"

Lily sighed but got out of bed and started taking her clothes off.

Rachel helped her to get dressed before the two of them went down for breakfast.

"Emily, breakfast" Rachel shouted

Rachel was surprised when Sadie came down as she thought she'd still be sleeping.

"You're up early love"

"Yeah well I'm going to go into town today with Bradley, but he has to be back by 3 to work so we've got to go early"

"That will be nice love" Rachel said, as she hadn't met up with Bradley for ages

It was soon time to leave to go to school and Rachel was rushing like mad as she'd stayed in bed so late. She couldn't be late to school either as she had an assembly to do first thing.

Despite having a hectic morning, by the time it got to lunchtime Rachel's day had calmed down a lot.

She was just eating a sandwich for lunch when Lily's school rang saying that she'd been sick so needed picking up.

When Rachel got to Lily's primary school she was sat in reception looking as she felt quite sorry for herself.

"Hey darling how are you feeling?"

"I was sick Mummy"

"I know you were, come on let's get you home"

Rachel was feeling bad for not believing her this morning but she was certain she was actually feeling fine before school.

Rachel signed her out and then the two of them went back to the car.

"Mummy don't you have to go back to work?" Lily asked as Rachel stopped on the drive

"No I was only doing paperwork this afternoon anyway love, so I'm going to do it from home"

As soon as they got in Lily got changed out of her school uniform and into some comfy clothes before sitting on the sofa.

"When did you start feeling sick love?"

"At lunchtime when we were playing on the field"

"Well hopefully you'll feel better soon, if you are going to be sick try and get to the toilet but I'll put a bowl beside you just in case"

Rachel got on with her work for the afternoon whilst Lily watched a film, but she seemed a lot brighter so Rachel thought she might have been sick from running around after eating, and it had been quite hot as well.


	13. Chapter 13

It was early on a Sunday evening and Rachel was on the train on her way home from Edinburgh.

She'd had a lovely weekend away but now she was starting to feel incredibly guilty. At the minute she felt like such a selfish person.

She'd had feelings for her deputy for such a long time but it wasn't until a couple of months ago that she actually acted on these feelings.

"Are you okay Rach? You seem quiet"

"Yeah just thinking about how much I've enjoyed this weekend" Rachel said offering a small smile

This was true but she was also thinking how she couldn't do this anymore. She was done with the lies; she didn't want anyone to get hurt.

She knew she needed to speak to Eddie tomorrow and put a stop to this once and for all.

They didn't speak much for the rest of the journey home but when they eventually pulled into the station Rachel realised how much she wanted to go home with Eddie and not go home to Steve no matter how much she was looking forward to seeing the kids.

This weekend had been perfect, but now she was back to reality. She knew she'd be going back to arguing with Steve and being so much happier in the house when he wasn't around.

Rachel was still in her own world when she saw Lily running towards her as she ran out of the station.

She thought that Eddie was dropping her home, she hadn't been expecting them here.

"Hey Lil, what are you doing here?"

"Steve said we could surprise you and pick you up"

"This is a lovely surprise"

As Rachel greeted the three girls that she loved so much, she was struggling to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall.

This wasn't fair on them and she felt so guilty for what she had left.

"I'll see you tomorrow, would've been nice to have some sort of break from work eh?" Eddie said before walking away leaving Rachel to walk back to the car with Steve and the girls.

When Rachel had first got off the train Steve had seemed pleased to see Rachel, but now they were back in the car he seemed cold and distant once again.

It was almost as if he knew about Rachel and Eddie and he wanted to pretend to Eddie like they had the perfect relationship.

When they got in Steve went straight to the lounge to put the football on and Rachel chatted in the kitchen with the girls for a bit.

It was nice to talk to them, the one thing she actually liked about being in this house.

After a while Rachel went upstairs to unpack her things.

Steve came in a little while later.

At first they were just talking, although their conversations never seemed very natural anymore, but it wasn't long before they were arguing once again.

"I can't do this again Steve, and I don't want the kids getting upset again either" Rachel said before flouncing out of the room

Rachel cooked some pasta up for tea, but the tension between Rachel and Steve when they were eating was pretty obvious.

"Right then love, shall we get you bathed and ready for bed?" Rachel said to Lily

"But it's still really early Mum"

"I know love, but you've had a busy weekend by the sounds of it with two late nights, and we don't want you tired for school do we?"

It might also have something to do with the fact Rachel felt exhausted after yet another argument with Steve and just fancied an evening where she could relax for a bit herself.

"I don't want to go to bed early"

"I'll make you a deal, if you have a bath and get ready for bed then I'll let you come down for another twenty minutes or so when you get out"

"Okay then"

Lily had become quite argumentative over bedtime lately so Rachel was glad she wasn't putting up too much of a fuss.

Rachel went upstairs and ran a bath for Lily.

"Lil, your bath's ready" Rachel called once it was done

Lily came running into the bathroom and got straight out of her clothes and into the bath.

Lily was chatting as usual, and Rachel was trying her hardest not to let Lily realise how upset and fed up she was actually feeling.

Lily looked horrified when Steve came in.

"Mummy tell Steve to go out you wouldn't let him go in if Sadie or Emily were in the bath" Lily said reaching for a flannel and putting it over her chest

"I don't think you need to be worrying quite yet my love"

"I'm going out for a bit Rachel"

"Well what time will you be back?"

"Does it matter what time?"

"No I guess not I was just wondering that's all"

Steve went back out again but when he did Lily was in a strop with Rachel

"What are you so stroppy about Missus?"

"You think I'm a baby still but I'm not anymore"

"I don't think you're a baby love, I think you're a little girl"

"But you didn't make Steve go out when I told you to"

"Sorry darling, maybe I should've if you didn't want him in whilst you were in the bath, he wasn't looking at you anyway. But I will next time I promise"

Once Rachel had let Lily have a bit of a play she washed her hair before getting her out the bath and wrapping a big fluffy towel around her.

Rachel helped Lily into her pyjamas and dried her hair off before taking her downstairs for a bit.

"Mum I'm hungry"

"Okay I'll get you a little snack"

"And can I have a drink please?"

"Yep I'll get you a glass of water"

"No I don't want water"

"If you're thirsty you'll drink anything"

"Fine then"

Rachel came back into the lounge a few minutes later and Emily was in there too.

Emily had been really quiet all evening so Rachel thought a little chat might be in order later. She was going to wait until Lily was tucked up in bed first though.

Rachel let Lily stay down for half an hour but then took her up to bed, despite Lily's protests and read a bit of her book to her before getting her settled to go to sleep.

"Night night my love, sleep well see you in the morning"

"Night Mummy, love you lots" Lily said sounding really tired and quite cute

"Love you lots too darling"

Rachel went back down to sit with Emily and watch some TV. She'd popped her head around Sadie's door on her way down to see if she wanted to come down too, but she said she was happy in her room

"Is everything okay love? You've seemed really quiet tonight"

"Yeah I'm fine" Emily said but Rachel could tell from her voice that she wasn't

"Are you sure? You know I'm always here to talk if something is up"

"Yeah I know"

"Good, well you know where I am if you need me. I'm just going to go and get a glass of wine, do you want anything?"

"No I'm good thank you"

Rachel went out to the kitchen and poured herself a large glass of white wine. She didn't drink on a Sunday night very often but she just really felt like she needed it tonight.

Emily stayed down with Rachel until she went to bed and they didn't see Sadie for the whole evening.

Emily went up and Rachel gave her ten minutes to get herself sorted before going up to say goodnight.

"Night Em, see you in the morning"

"See you in the morning"

"Love you lots"

"Love you too"

Rachel left her to go to sleep and decided to go and check on Sadie.

"Are you okay love?"

"Yeah fine"

"Do you fancy coming down and keeping me company for half an hour or so? We haven't really had much time to chat this weekend"

"I'm a bit tired Rach I think I might just stop up here"

"Oh okay if that's what you want to do love"

Rachel went down and sat on the sofa by herself feeling really lonely.

She had no idea where Steve was or what time he would be back and it felt weird not having Sadie down as usually she would be down of an evening.

Rachel couldn't help but sit there and have a good cry.

She didn't know how long she'd been sat there but she was in her own world when Emily walked into the lounge and Rachel didn't even notice her there to start with.

Emily was shocked when she saw Rachel cry, she didn't think she'd ever seen her cry before.

"Rachel are you okay?"

Rachel hastily tried to wipe away her tears.

"Yes love of course I am I'm fine"

"Well why would you be crying if you were fine?"

"I'm just feeling a bit down at the minute sweetheart, but it's nothing for you to be worrying yourself about"

Emily felt really worried about Rachel now, she hated seeing her upset but didn't want to push her to tell her what was wrong if she didn't want to.

"Anyway how come you've come down here?"

"I can't sleep"

"How come?"

"I don't know I just can't"

"Quite often when you can't sleep it's because there's something on your mind, is there something that you can't switch off from?"

Emily immediately started shaking her head but couldn't help herself from bursting into tears.

"Oh love, come here and have a cuddle" Rachel said

Emily went straight over and sat down next to Rachel and Rachel put her arm around her supportively.

The two of them sat there for a few minutes neither of them saying anything.

The smell of Rachel's perfume and creams had become such a comforting smell to Emily and it made her feel a bit better already.

"Please tell me what's upsetting you sweetheart"

Emily thought for a few moments, but decided she needed to tell someone because she was just getting herself so worked up over it and Rachel was the person she found it easiest to talk to out of everyone. Emily felt like she could talk to her about practically anything.

"I think I've got cancer" Emily mumbled

Rachel was obviously a bit taken back by this and really shocked at what she'd just heard.

"What makes you say that love?"

"I found a lump a few weeks ago and it still hasn't gone away"

"Where's the lump"

Emily's cheeks started flushing a bit but she pointed to her left breast where the lump was.

"Can I have a little look?"

"What if someone comes in though?"

"We'll hear them coming so you can quickly pull your top up again don't worry"

Emily slowly pulled her top down a bit revealing the lump to Rachel.

Rachel had a quick look and really hoped it was nothing to worry about, but thought it would definitely be a good idea to get it checked by a doctor.

"Well I think I'll ring the doctor's first thing in the morning to get you an appointment but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, I'm sure you're absolutely fine love"

"But what if… well you know I've got breast cancer?"

"Breast cancer is really unusual in girls your age so I'm sure you haven't, but I just think it's best we get a doctor to have a look at it to put your mind at rest"

"Okay"

"Try not to worry about it, just take your mind off it. I know it's easier said than done but thinking about it doesn't change anything does it?"

"No I guess not. But Rachel if we go to the doctor's tomorrow it will be really embarrassing having to show them"

"No it won't, it's definitely not something they haven't seen before and they're used to it"

"I suppose"

"Come on then, let's go up to bed. I'm going to go to bed now myself anyway"

Rachel turned the lights off but left a lamp on in the hall for when Steve got back.

The two of them went upstairs.

"Rachel"

"Yeah"

"No it doesn't matter" Emily said changing her mind thinking she sounded like a bit of a baby

"Go on"

"Would you maybe sit with me for a bit?"

"Of course I will love, do you need the loo or anything before you go back to bed?"

"Yeah"

"Okay I'll just get into my pyjamas and then I'll be in"

Once Rachel had put her pyjamas on she went back into Emily's bedroom and sat on the edge of her bed until she had fallen asleep.

Rachel then went back to her own room, but she just laid for ages waiting for Steve to come back.

At about 11 Rachel finally heard the front door slam and a few minutes later Steve came up to their bedroom.

"Do you want me to sleep in the spare room tonight?"

"If that's what you'd prefer" Rachel said, she had nothing left in her to fight for their relationship anymore

Steve left and Rachel started crying once again.

She felt so weak for crying so much but she just didn't seem to be able to help it.

Eventually Rachel stopped crying but she still couldn't sleep.

It was really hot as well which was just making things worse, so she decided to jump out of bed and turn her fan on.

When she was back in bed she suddenly heard footsteps coming along the landing and it wasn't long before her bedroom door was opening and in came Lily.

"Hey Lil, what are you doing in here?"

"I woke up and I can't get back to sleep because I'm too hot"

"I know it's way too hot and sticky tonight isn't it?"

"I've just put my fan on, so why don't you jump into bed with me and sleep in here tonight?" Rachel suggested as she didn't feel like sleeping on her own and actually really wanted her daughter to come into bed with her

Lily didn't need to think twice about that, she jumped straight into bed next to Rachel.

"Why don't you take your nightie off love and just sleep in your knickers huh?"

Lily took her nightie off and threw it on the floor.

"Mum my head hurts too"

"You probably haven't had enough to drink today it has been really hot, here have a few sips of my water. Not too much mind you, I don't want you nipping out of bed to go to the loo all night"

It took a while but Lily did go back to sleep and eventually Rachel fell asleep too.

Not that she had a particularly great sleep though; Lily had been really restless and she just had too much on her mind.

When Rachel got out of the shower the next morning Steve had already left for work. She actually felt quite relieved that she didn't have to speak to him.

As soon as the doctor's were open Rachel rang up and by some miracle managed to get an appointment for Emily before school.

Rachel made sure her, Lily and Emily were all ready early and dropped Lily off at a friend's house as her Mum had agreed to take Lily to school so that Rachel could take Emily to the doctor's/

They were sat in the waiting room and Rachel could tell how nervous Emily was so put her hand onto Emily's thigh supportively.

When Emily's name came up on the screen they both began to feel even more nervous.

They went in and the doctor was really nice. Emily felt a bit embarrassed having to take her shirt off and just be in her bra, but she was glad that she had Rachel there with her.

"Right it doesn't look like anything to worry about to me. Lumps are pretty common in girls your age because you're growing and developing. If it's still there in a few months and it's bothering you, you can come back and we can see about getting it removed"

"Thank you very much" Rachel said before the two of them both left

Both of them felt extremely relieved when they walked out of the surgery. Rachel was sure this is what the Doctor would say but she had still been worried.

Rachel dropped Emily to school before driving to work.

She couldn't tell whether she was dreading seeing Eddie or looking forward to it.

When she got up to their office he was already in there and made her a cup of coffee as soon as she came in.

It didn't take long for Eddie to figure out what was wrong and all it took was for him to ask her what was wrong for her to break down into tears.

Eddie closed Rachel's office door before ushering Rachel over to sit down on the sofa.

Eddie comforted Rachel while she cried, and it was then that Rachel realised that her feelings for Eddie were too strong for her to just ignore. She was fed up of being upset and miserable all the time and knew that she needed to do what was right for her.

The thought of losing Steve was nowhere near as bad as the thought of losing Sadie, but she hoped she'd still be able to stay in contact with Sadie. She was going to miss the girl who she thought of as her daughter now, but she knew she couldn't go on living like this any longer.

Rachel and Eddie were pulled away from their embrace when Rachel's mobile phone started ringing.

Rachel was shocked after speaking to a nurse, who told her that Steve had been involved in a serious car accident and that she needed to get to the hospital as quickly as she could.


End file.
